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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
*MusicIsMyLife* Offline
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Name: Rebecca
Gender: Female
Location: Canada

Posts: 75
Join Date: January 18th 2010

Unhappy Very hurt - March 12th 2012, 02:31 AM

For the past couple of weeks I have been feeling very lonely, sad, unloved and worthless. I feel like this because I think that no one cares about me.

There has been a lot going on and it's getting hard to handle. I am getting called mean names by some girls who are supposed to be my friends. I get called a loser, stupid, a loner, ugly, fat, immature, a failure and worthless. They also say that I have no friends and that noone cares about me. I think that everything is all my fault.

I have really low self esteem and confidence. I think negative and I always put myself down. I don't think that I am good at anything and that I am a failure and ugly and fat.

My parents ignore me. I feel left out and neglected by them because they don't care about me, all they care about are my siblings. I just feel that they get all the attention because they are more loved.

I also get pushed around by my friends. They push me into things and hit me. They also say that they wish I never existed.

I feel so hurt. I feel like crying and just want someone to care.
I really want to cut. Everyone would be happy if I was gone. I just think that if I cut it will take all the pain away.

No one cares. Every time I try talking to someone they push me away and don't want to listen. I have no one. All I want is for someone to listen to me and not push me away. Cutting is my only option. I am going through so much and it's all very overwhelming.

“Words can break someone into a million pieces, but they can also put them back together. I hope you use yours for good, because the only words you'll regret more than the ones left unsaid are the ones you use to intentionally hurt someone.”
― Taylor Swift
  (#2 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Very hurt - March 12th 2012, 05:30 AM

I get what you mean, it sucks. Honestly though, your parents do love you, I promise. As for your friends, forget them, u should have much better. Find someone who could also use someone, thats the only answer out there
  (#3 (permalink)) Old
Collies R Us Offline
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Re: Very hurt - March 13th 2012, 01:33 AM

Find some new friends Rebecca, because those people you are describing certainly are not. Leave them...even if it does take you out of the group. Find a new group of friends who will respect you for who you are. Seriously. Those girls are making fun of you because THEY are insecure...or jealous...or just cruel people. All of the above!

And cutting...*shudder*... I never saw how cutting yourself up will solve anything...it would seem like it would cause MORE pain. I could never make myself actually pull a knife over my wrists...it's just so...ugh...I wouldn't be able to do it.

But I have never been through anything you're going through, this bad. I have been in a sorta similar but less intense situation as you and the thing is...you can't let what people say hurt you. Just let it go. I mean, they must feel pretty bad about themselves if hurting someone else makes them happy.

And try to find an adult or someone...there's got to be someone out there. A teacher, a family friend, a church friend, a coach, someone you trust. Talk to them about it.

I promise you, you are not worthless and SOMEONE DOES CARE. I promise. You are here, on this Earth, for a reason. You are not worthless, you are beautiful the way you are and if people can't see that...then 'oh,well' for them. You are loved. I promise.
- Collies R Us aka Ally

"Be strong and bold; have no fear or dread of them, because it is the LORD your God who goes with you; he will not fail you or forsake you." (Deut. 31:6 NRSV of the Bible)
  (#4 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Very hurt - March 13th 2012, 03:42 AM

I'm sorry you feel alone... have you tried talking to your siblings, friends, and parents? Tell them that it hurts you and tell them how they can improve your life.

You're never alone... you've always got the TH community behind you! Sometimes you have to choose to be happy even when it's hard...

I need to learn to practice what I preach. You can PM me anytime <3

Hope things start getting better for you.

  (#5 (permalink)) Old
Palmolive Offline
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Re: Very hurt - March 13th 2012, 05:41 PM

Hi there,

You've had these problems with your friends for a long time. And honestly from the way you say they behave towards you I find it hard to believe that they are real friends because friends don't hurt one another, the way your 'friends' hurt you. I think that they are bullying you. That you are being bullied. But, like I have said to you before, if you want this to change, you need to talk to someone about it who can help you deal with the situation. And I think that a really good person for you to talk to would be either a teacher or your heard of year group. Most schools have anti-bullying policies to prevent or to intervene and stop bullying from happening as well as to give support to the people who've been affected by bullying. But no one can do this, if they don't know what is going on for you.

You admit that you always put yourself down which is not going to help the way you feel or help your confidence and self esteem at all. It's going to make you feel worse. And this is really hard but you have to change your thought pattern. And only you can do that and you're the on in control. You have to help yourself in this too, which is admittedly going to be hard while you have people telling you different things which are going to try and drag you down, but if you start talking to someone about the bullying to try and stop it from happening and start helping yourself by changing the way you think, you'll get there.

I'm sorry that you feel this way towards your parents. I know we've spoken about this before too. Have you ever spoken to your parents about it? It might help but if you have and it's gotten you no where, try talking to someone else. Again a teacher could be a good person to talk too about it.

You and me both know that self harming isn't a good thing to do. You're only hurting yourself more, just in a different way. And the more you rely on self harm, the more 'addictive' it'll become, the more you'll want to do it and the harder it'll be to stop self harming. Remember to look at the list of alternatives, because some of them will help you. Not all of them, so it's all about trial and error and not giving up when you come across something which doesn't help you. You're worth a hell of a lot more than self harm and as hard as the urge may get, you can beat them because you are in control of them.

People do care. If they didn't, you wouldn't have gotten these replies, or even views. We're here for you and so are others but you have to help yourself and you have to let other people in to help you around you. You don't have to be on your own.

Keep your chin up,

"Only in the dark, can you see the stars..."
Josie 12/3/2014, always in my heart. Sue 19/2/2016; Peter, Ellie, Hannah, Andy, Kirtsie RIP.

Helplink Mentor l Article writer l Forum mod l Community Mod
  (#6 (permalink)) Old
savealife723 Offline
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Re: Very hurt - March 13th 2012, 10:39 PM

Hey Rebecca.

First off, let me say that I am so sorry that you are being put through all of this. You do not deserve it in the least bit and no matter what anyone says or tells you, it's important to know that it's not your fault. None of this is your fault. To start off, I highly recommend that you find a new group of friends. Even if it seems like they're the only ones there for you right now, it's clear that they're not there for you in the slightest bit. Getting new friends can be a hard transition because for a while it means that you really don't have anyone, but having no one is so much better than having someone who puts you down all the time. The group of 'friends' that you have right now are not treating you right, and no deserves to be talked to that way. If they are telling you that they wish you never exsisted, they don't realize the effects that it has on you and how you feel. They aren't thinking about your feelings at all, and that's just wrong of friends to do.

Second off, I know how hard it can be to feel like others in your family are more loved than you are. For years, I had problems with that because I always thought that my parents loved my older sister more than me. She was pretty much the angel child and I felt like I was unseen by them, and uncared for. You don't deserve that either though. Maybe you should try talking to your parents and letting them know that things aren't going well for you right now. Your parents are always going to care about you, and if they know that something is wrong, I'm sure that they're going to want to fix it. It's a possibility that maybe your parents don't know how to be involved in your life, or maybe they feel as though you don't want them to be involved, so they are closing you off. If you try to reach out to them though, I think it would help a lot. It can definitely be challenging, but it will be so worth it in the end.

People do care about you, Rebecca. You have thousands of members on teenhelp that take the time everyday to come on here and replies to messages that are just like yours. We don't have to do it, but we do it because we care and because we want the best for everyone on this site, including you. Please be careful, and consider everything I've said. If you ever want to talk further, please feel free to message me at any time at all. I'm always here for you.

Much love,

When you can't find your way home,
and when life gets too hard to face on your own.
I will stand as a light through the darkness unknown,
I will walk with you, so you're never alone.
  (#7 (permalink)) Old
ForgetMeNot9 Offline
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Re: Very hurt - March 14th 2012, 04:19 AM

Hey there Rebecca,

I'm so sorry that you are going through all of this. It's not fair that your friends of all people treat you this way. And trust me, friends that treat you that way aren't worth keeping around. You deserve much better than that regardless of what anyone says or does to you. If you ask me, the only immature ones are your friends who think it's okay to bully you. And that is exactly what they are. Bullies. I think that the first thing you should do if you want things to change when it comes to your group of friends is to get new ones. Having people in your life who are constantly putting you down and making you feel badly about yourself is never a good thing and you know what? They don't deserve you as their friend. You are NOT a loser, loner, fat, ugly, stupid, immature, worthless or anything else these girls have called you. You are a wonderful person. Take a stand against these bullies, and please don't let them get to you. Tell a teacher, your parents, principal. What they are doing is wrong and should be dealt with by someone of authority.

I know how easy it is to feel like you are the least loved person in your family. For a long time, I resented my sisters, thinking that they were getting all of the love and attention from my parents. Whenever I felt bad about myself, I would always jump immediately to that because all I saw at the time was my sisters being praised for everything. If this is how you're feeling, you should definitely bring this up in a conversation with your parents. I'm sure that if you told them how you feel, they would try their best to fix it for you. Also, I'm sure they love you, care about you
and only want the best for their daughter. If you don't think you could talk to them face-to-face about this, why not try writing them a letter? That way, you could get your point across and then let them come to you. That's just an idea!

Self-harming is never the best answer, Rebecca. As Jessie mentioned, don't forget to look through the list of alternatives. They can be very helpful when you feel the urge to self-harm. There really are better ways to deal with your emotions, that won't have lasting negative effects.

People care about you. Sometimes it's hard to see that, but it's the truth, Rebecca. TeenHelp is full of people who care enough to respond to your threads and others like these every day. We are all here for you. Remember that.

Take care and stay safe

Rescue is possible. Love is the movement ♥
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