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FuturesEnd45 Offline
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I feel so low i think i should just end it - March 16th 2012, 04:41 AM

This thread has been labeled as triggering, particularly on the subject of suicide, by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread therefore might not be suitable for certain sensitive users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

I feel like no one cares about me. I feel like my whole existence is worthless. All i do is want. I want things to change i want a new look a new room and it makes me feel like a leech on my parents money. I want to hang out with my best friend and shes always " busy " my other friends never answer. Im alone all day im alone all night. No one i know understands anxiety that i cant control it i feel like everyone thinks i decide to be ancious that i wake up and say hey anxiety would make today a great day i like not being in school, alone, and sad. No one understand my ptsd either. They just say get over it . I cant i hear a noise and freak. My best friend is still friends with the people who wrecke me soni see them. I see them around town and online still. I cant escape its still arous me all the time. Sometimes i wish my brother wasnt born with me for a twin and my parents only had one kid. No one would care if i died. My best friend wouldnt know cause he never hangs with me. My bf woulnt know cause hes busy. Just my family would know and theyd get over it. My doctors dot care they leave me, go to new hospitals, send me away, one doctor left the room for 1 hour and i fell asleep. No one cares no one. I just want to die all i think about is harming myself more and more. I just want everything to be normal and i never will be. Im a mistake because im a twin i didnt HAVE to exist im just a mistake and i want to die and im scared and this post is stupid.
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xxprincessxx Offline
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Re: I feel so low i think i should just end it - March 16th 2012, 03:18 PM


First of all this post was not stupid, saying what you feel is always a good thing. I'm so sorry for all that you are going through and how it feels that nobody understands. I know that feeling, I think it's hard for people to understand issues like these if they haven't been through them themselves or something similar. I understand that you can't just get over it, it takes time and effort.

But trust me on one thing, death isn't the right way to go! I know life is hard and you don't want to live at the moment but life does get better. You just have to keep holding on. People would care about you if you died, your family, bf and friends would even if you think that they wouldn't or that they would just "get over it." I don't think death is something people just get over ever, it's always going to be there, especially with suicide's because they can be prevented. Why not talk to your family about how you are feeling, I'm sure that they would want to help you through this hard time. Also have you talked to your best friend and bf about how you've been feeling? I think that would be a great idea as well!

That sucks that you keep having to go to different doctors and such but maybe they're just trying to find the best one to help you.

Please don't give up! Things will get better! If you ever want to talk, feel free to PM me. (=

all i want is a place to call my own and
mend the hearts of everyone who feels alone,
you know to keep your hopes up high and your head down low.

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