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Depression and Suicide If you or a loved one is feeling depressed or suicidal, you are not alone. Talk with other users about your feelings here.

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Exclamation Knots - March 21st 2012, 12:29 AM

This thread has been labeled as triggering by the original poster or by a Moderator. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

Lately ive been very into learning how to tie a hangmans knot and noose. It makes me happy thinking about it. Is this messed up? Do you think it is making my depression and self harm and suicide urges worse? Should I stop doing this? I've been so depressed lately and haven't been able to cut lately because I'm trying to quit. I just can't handle this anymore.
   
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Re: Knots - March 21st 2012, 01:57 PM

Maybe it would be good to make sure you don't have any string/ rope etc in your house or anywhere else that you could easily access. Just to make sure there is no possibility of anything happening. It could be making things worse, but the fact you still haven't cut makes you sound so strong. This makes me believe that you can get through this stage
   
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Re: Knots - March 21st 2012, 02:19 PM

To be blunt, it does sound a little messed up. It is better than self harming IMO, but if you are doing it with suicidal thoughts growing stronger, perhaps it is best that you stop and find something more *constructive* to do. I hope things get better for you. Stay safe.


"Ignore the ramblings of the ignorant, and step on or over their crumpled bodies as you make your way to the top of the mountain. Eat upon their flesh for fuel, and, through your determination and will, banish them to obscurity and a life of complacency and self righteousness that is the hell in which they live"

-Richard Safreed

"Civilize the mind, but make savage the body."
   
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Re: Knots - March 21st 2012, 03:28 PM

Does it make you feel happy to think about using it to end your life? Or do you just enjoy making them? I suppose if it's keeping your hands busy and you enjoy making it then there isn't anything wrong with it. But like Gemma said, it probably isn't the best thing to keep nearby when you're feeling depressed, especially if you're trying to stop self harming- a massive thing by the way, well done!

Stay strong <3



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Re: Knots - March 21st 2012, 07:51 PM

It makes me happy thinking about ending it. Is that a problem?
   
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Re: Knots - March 21st 2012, 08:05 PM

To be completely honest with you, I don't think fantasizing about ending your own life is good or indeed helpful. You've been doing brilliant trying to stop self harming, so well done for that. Maybe you should try and distract yourself when these thoughts enter your mind? Try doing little things that make you smile, or that you would miss if you were gone. You dying would help no one, and thinking about dying is probably making you feel worse and more depressed. I certainly don't think it's helpful and you're right, it probably is making your suicidal urges and self harm worse.

Stay strong <3



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Re: Knots - March 23rd 2012, 03:44 AM

Thanks y'all for responding. Y'all have been helpful. Its just hard cuz my mind wanders to two things most often: cutting myself or killing myself. If I don't think fantasize about death then my cutting urges get unbearable. It's do not normal I know but I feel like I can't do anything else. I've come up with so many ways to do it. At first I never actually seriously considered ending it. I just imagined it because it was a helpful distraction and when I would plan different ways it would keep my mind off of cutting. But over the months I've been considering it more and more. It scares me. But I feel like I could actually do it. Like I'm getting braver and more desperate for a relief from the constant torments of life. I'm not sure what to do. I hate my life and myself. I feel like a freak.
   
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Re: Knots - March 25th 2012, 10:43 AM

Please respond somebody
   
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Re: Knots - March 25th 2012, 02:41 PM

Hey,

Ending your life isn't the bravest option. Being brave is weathering the storm, hard as it may be. It can seem impossible sometimes, but you have to cling to hope. I think distraction is one option, and does anybody else (apart from us) know you feel like this? They may be able to support you in ways we can't, and keep an eye on you, to make sure you don't do anything rash.

As for distractions, have you looked at the alternatives thread for self harm? http://www.teenhelp.org/forums/f12-s...ves-self-harm/

Some of the distractions on there are really effective, although you may have to find one that suits you, as not all of them will work for everybody.

Stay strong <3



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Re: Knots - March 26th 2012, 04:15 PM

Ending your life is not the answer. Whatever you're going through you can get through. You're never alone, feel free to message me if you ever need anything. <3
   
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