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Depression and Suicide If you or a loved one is feeling depressed or suicidal, you are not alone. Talk with other users about your feelings here.

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outofbreath Offline
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Unhappy Do I deserve this? - March 21st 2012, 10:08 PM

This thread has been labeled as triggering, particularly on the subject of suicide, by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread therefore might not be suitable for certain sensitive users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

Do I? Do I really? I'm worthlessss. A piece of shit, if you will. I hate myself, I hate the world. I hate whoever is torturing me. I hate the people who love me. Wanna know why? Because all they do is hur t me. They wont let me die. They wont let me kill myself. Why cant everyone just let me rest in piece?!. I'm tired of living?. I'm stupid, annoying, waste of space. Seriously, I don't even deserve to live. This is fucking hopeless. I'm gonna give in and start cutting seriously again. the only reason I havent overdosed yet is becasue i dont know where my pills are and im afraid nothing will happen. I will O.D tho. eventuallly... Screw this world. I hate myself. I want to die. I need to die. gonna go buy a razor. Fuck it.
   
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Kindred Offline
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Re: Do I deserve this? - March 21st 2012, 10:40 PM

No Olivia, you DO NOT deserve to feel like this. You're anything but worthless, you're an extremely strong person for not cutting, EXTREMELY strong. That's a massive thing and you should be really proud of yourself. Why won't the people that love you let you die? Because they love you, and because I bet they hate seeing you in so much pain. They want the best for you, and dying certainly isn't the best. If you're dead, you'll never smile again. It might seem like the better option right now, but who knows what could happen to change your point of view? In an hour, tomorrow, next week- something could happen to give you hope. Something could make you realize how much you actually do want to live- but if your already dead, that won't happen.
Things will get better eventually, if you stick it out. I can't even imagine how terrible you must be feeling right now. You don't deserve to feel like this, no way. You're an extremely brave young woman and I admire your strength.

Stay strong sweetie <3



Take as long as you need.
   
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laniiii Offline
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Re: Do I deserve this? - March 23rd 2012, 03:49 AM

You're not allowed to die because this world needs you. If you died, there would be a big Olivia-shaped hole in everyone's heart. Someone as strong and courageous as you should not die.
Lots of love <3
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Silvia Offline
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Re: Do I deserve this? - March 23rd 2012, 10:32 PM

Hi Olivia, it is terrible when one thinks is worthless and that there is no point in living, I know what's that about... But if those people around u love u so much, it's because u have a lot of qualities to be loved for and ur the only one not seeing them... If they don't want u to die it's because they need u, they feel they couldn't go on without u, and in that sense, u don't seem to be that useless, do u?

It takes a very work to stop hating urself and start seeing things differently, but it is not impossible, and it's not ur fault to be in this situation, but it is in ur hands to fight against it and overcome it. And if u've been strong enough to talk about it with us, u are also strong enough to try and try and try to recover from this. Anyway, if ur at a point when there's nothing to lose, it's worth trying whatever it takes to get out from this hole...

I send u a big hug, and encourage u to talk to us if u need it, walk with ur head high and look for a solution, we know u can and we support u, okay?
   
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