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Depression and Suicide If you or a loved one is feeling depressed or suicidal, you are not alone. Talk with other users about your feelings here.

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revlusion Offline
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idk.... - March 23rd 2012, 07:09 AM

hi...i'm new here...i'm not sure why i signed up to post something like this, but i guess i just need a li'l encouragement or something....but i don't know...i'm a bit reluctant to share but i really can't stand myself right now....
i'm not sure if this is the correct thread to be in.....i'm both feeling down and hurting myself....
truthfully, i'm really having trouble going to sleep.for the passed two months, i haven't slept until 4am...i'm really not sure what i'll gain by doing this, and i sincerely apologize for the time and space for this....
ummm....idk...i've been cutting again recently and i really don't have anyone to talk to about this....and i know lots of other people go through this, but i've recently broken up and it's making me feel even lower....especially since my ex is going out with my friend....i guess i'm a li'l hurt and feeling that i wasn't really worth that much...but that problem's always been with me....
besides my trouble sleeping, the only way i can actually go to sleep is crying, but i've resisted crying, so i haven't been sleeping....
i guess, what i'm really looking for right now is a bit of encouragement....i do my best to seem alright, and it works, but i'm actually really hurting a lot, and i really don't know what to do.....
sorry for the trouble....
   
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Re: idk.... - March 23rd 2012, 02:56 PM

Hey, don't be sorry for posting. Everyone needs a little help and encourgment. That's what the site is here for. It's normal to feel depressed after a relationship ends, but you seem like you have been depressed for a while before it. Have you tried talking about deppression? It isn't anything to be embarressed about, lots of teenagers have it. About the cutting. I used to cut, sometimes i even slip back to it. The best thing that I can tell you is that you are worth it. Whatever anybody says you are amazing, beautiful, and a wonderful person. It was feelings like I wasn't worth it that led me to cutting in the first place. What really helped me quit was taking a permanet marker and writing "Worth it" "beautiful" "Smart" and other words like that in places I cut. I still do it every once in awhile. What also helped me is I made some new friends. They support me in everything I do, and if they think I'm doing something we all know is wrong, they tell me, but they tell me in a way that won't hurt me. In all honesty they just really care. That is the type of friends you need. Trust me it is soo much easier to quit if you have friends supporting you. I want to be one of those friends if you want me to.Go ahead and PM me if you want. xoxo -Lexie
   
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Re: idk.... - March 24th 2012, 01:27 AM

thanks, Lexie.that helped me a bit.the thing about writing on the cuts seem like a nice idea...
ummm, my parents knew about my cutting one time, but i got them to believe that i stopped and now i'm just usually hiding it....and there was a point when i wasn't cutting...but the thing was that, it was because of my ex...he was the one who i kinda relied on so i wouldn't cut....so i think that's why i'm hurting a lot since he moved on so quickly....it's not that i'm happy for him and my friend, but it really does hurt because it really wasn't that long since we actually broke up and they decided to date...and i guess i'm a bit jealous that he moved on so quickly, coz it makes me feel i wasn't worth that much(like i've said).....but thank you, still.
   
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Re: idk.... - March 24th 2012, 02:42 AM

I'm sorry you have to go through this. *hugs* In addition to what Lexie said about writing on cuts, you might want to check out the Butterfly Project, which pretty much the same thing, but you draw and stuff. That's what I do. Maybe you don't feel like it, but you are worth loads and don't let anyone make you feel otherwise. There will always be people here to support you and give you encouragement. If you ever need anythign or just want to talk, I'm here.
Lots of love <3
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Re: idk.... - March 26th 2012, 06:25 PM

Hey, I'm at the same spot with my parents. I restarted to many times to count. I have almost beat my record with how long I'm being clean. Anyways my dad doesn't know that i even started cutting once, and my mom and stepmom dont know I restarted. I felt like that with my ex but once i let myself get closer to my friends and trust they wouldn't hurt me things got easier. Not meaning to make this about myself what I'm saying is that it will get easier,especially if you just reach out to a friend. If you don't feel comfortable with that try something else that will get emotions out such as writing, singng, dancing, art. Anything that will let you vent. best of luck!!!
   
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Re: idk.... - March 26th 2012, 07:28 PM

I know the position your in because well I'm there in the same position. The butterfly project is really good and defiantly worth looking at. I know it's so hard to give up the self harm through experience and its even worse when you've given up and started doing it again. As Lexie says you should never be sorry for posting. Posting something that personal on here just shows how strong a person you are. Your a strong person and when your ready you will tell your parents. But if you really feel this is getting too much just go to your GP and see if they can sort something out for you. But things will get better..I promise
PM me if you need to chat. I'm always here


Remember, you can never change the past, but you can learn to live with it.

   
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