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Depression and Suicide If you or a loved one is feeling depressed or suicidal, you are not alone. Talk with other users about your feelings here.

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
Dedalus Offline
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Name: Joe
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hell is other people - March 27th 2012, 06:21 PM

Hell is other people, Jean-Paul Sartre said that. I am falling into an even darker place as the weeks go by. I think about doing myself in more regularly than ever - and I try and pull myself out of it and then something else happens.

I can't stand people any more. They depress me. I can't go into details but the staff here at my current university have fucked me over and just don't care about their students. It has depressed me beyond belief.

I met a girl last week, and I didn't really like her that much but we got along quite well and she was talking about us going for a drink next week. So I thought, you know, why not? Maybe it would be nice to have a date, maybe I'll like her more. So I went away at the weekend to see my grandparents, I posted a link on her wall about something we talked about. I came back last night, she 'liked' my link and I sent her a private message just asking if she'd like to go for that drink or a coffee during the week. No reply today despite her having been online, my link has been delted from her wall.

Whats that about? Why are people absolutely rotten? Why do these things happen to me? Why does God seem to just enjoy beng a prick, because none of this makes any fucking sense? Every little shred of happiness seems to get taken away from me. Any prospect of any happiness gets withdrawn. Other people just don't seem to do anything other than horrible things to me like this.
   
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Re: hell is other people - March 28th 2012, 01:46 AM

Hey there Joe.

I completely understand how you feel. Like every time something good happens that makes you see the "light at the end of the tunnel" it gets snatched away and you realize as you are walking into the tunnel that the light is a train hurrahing at you. It's like one of those ultra "oh shit!" moments.

First off my opinion is that it would be very helpful to talk to a doctor/psychologist/councilor about all of these feelings. It is their job to help you become happy again. They may give you medicine which in my case and many other cases have been very helpful. If you are currently on medicine then they might change the dose or put you on different medicine completely.

About wanting to kill yourself. I know the feeling. I get it regularly and it hurts so badly but somehow you have to try to make it through another day. This link helps me when I'm really down. http://www.metanoia.org/suicide/
I'm not going to sit here and try to talk you out of being depressed because I know for a fact that no matter how much somebody tells you to try to be happy it doesn't work until you set your mind to it. If you are considering suicide it is important to contact somebody because if you were dead it would only make the world even more grim.
This is the number for the suicide hotline 1-800-273-8255. They are there all the time.
This is a link to the suicide prevention lifeline http://www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org/
When I am in the suicidal mood I say to myself: " wait 24 hours and then I'll reasess my feelings" or any allotment of time. Often I find that after the set time my emotions have calmed down a bit and I'm not as low as I was before.

I really hope this helps you some. Please remember you are a special unique person. There is nobody else out there that is the same as you. Try to keep your chin up even tho it can be so hard when the world beats you down. If you ever need anything please PM me and I'll get back to you when I'm on (which is pretty often). remember you are strong and you deserve to live

Best Wishes
~SM~
   
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Re: hell is other people - March 30th 2012, 02:56 AM

Hey Joe.
Not all people are rotten, some are, but not all. It's just, we don't know what the other person is thinking, feeling, or going through. Try walking in their shoes.

That girl you were talking about, we don't know her motives. This is very worst-case-scenario, but maybe something happened like she was diagnosed with cancer and she decided that instead of making you fall in love with her, and then be heartbroken over her passing away, it would be better to not go out with you at all.
Missing one date with a girl you hardly know is less painful than having her die, after you realize you love her.
But that, again, is a worst-case-scenario...but it's an example of what I was trying to point out.
Besides, I'm sure you are very capable of finding someone who won't lead you on.

And about God, He works in mysterious ways. Everything has a reason for happening. Don't lose hope! God doesn't enjoy hurting His children, you know. He loves you, don't forget.

Smile! Everyone looks so much better with a smile...
- Collies R Us aka Ally


"Be strong and bold; have no fear or dread of them, because it is the LORD your God who goes with you; he will not fail you or forsake you." (Deut. 31:6 NRSV of the Bible)
   
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