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border1ine Offline
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Unhappy Forever alone.. please help - April 1st 2012, 01:35 AM

I joined here a few months ago, but forgot about it until now. I really need your help, guys.

I have no friends. Anybody that's ever been there for me has completely disappeared from my life. If I try to call them, they either blow me off or don't answer. Even my boyfriend's recently been avoiding me. I've suffered with depression for a while now and I've been going on ups and downs, where sometimes I'm alright for a few months, but then something happens and I end up falling backward. My boyfriend's told me everyone's tired of me being like this, and that he won't tolerate it anymore either.. even so, I'm not doing this on purpose, and it hurts that I don't have anyone by my side to help me through this, not even him, even though he claims to love and care about me.

I'm at my wit's end. I'm only seventeen and I can't get through a day without crying and wishing I weren't alone, spending my nights drinking so I can get to sleep without my mind reeling and preventing me from resting. I feel like crap 24/7 and all I can ever think about is how much I want my friends back, and how much of a loser I am. I've tried apologizing and making plans.. nothing ever happens or works though. I feel like it's too late, and my existence is just a nuisance.. I don't want to die, but all I can think of anymore is how much better off I'd be. Please help me.
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shmarls Offline
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Re: Forever alone.. please help - April 1st 2012, 08:19 AM

I know it can be hard sometimes, especially when nobody understands what you're going through. Do you have close friends that you've specifically tried talking to about this? I was always terrified of reaching out to people because I didn't want to be a burden. But it is really the best way to find out who is there for you or not. And if they're not there for you, then they obviously aren't the kind of people you want to be interacting with. You may be surprised who ends up being there for you.
   
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matt30822 Offline
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Re: Forever alone.. please help - April 1st 2012, 09:37 AM

Don't lose hope in your friends and your boyfriend just yet - as was said above you should reach out to them. I know it might seem to you that if you do reach out you may be afraid that they might not respond or that it might seem a desperate thing to do but it isn't. If you tell your friends what you are going through, some of them will answer. Everyone on here is here for you too.

I was in a similar situation at your age, when between leaving high school and starting uni i lost contact with about 10 of my 12 friends and then eventually all 12 about half way through my first year at university. I felt very alone during that time but luckily i picked myself up and made new friends at university who now even after leaving university, i am still friends with.

So not all hope is lost - i hope your friends support you through this, as well as your boyfriend soon. Remember - were here for you
   
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