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Don't know how to cope - August 7th 2014, 07:07 PM

This thread has been labeled as triggering, particularly on the subject of death or grieving, by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread might therefore not be suitable for certain sensitive users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

My cat was put to sleep. I've had her for nearly 18 years; that's almost all of my life. I don't remember a time she wasn't there. I keep looking out for her, or thinking I can see her in the corner of my eye and forgetting briefly. It hurts. Like really hurts and I feel like crying all the time. She was my best friend and I just don't know how to deal with this. Everything that reminds me of her makes me want to curl up and cry, even if it's nice things. I see pictures and I can't handle it. Even her bed and bowls being gone, or the fact the bin is lower now because it's not ontop of her cat tray makes me feel awful. I just need some advice. I dont want to cry around people and I don't want to feel like nothing is worth my time. I'm meant to be going away soon and this is going to be playing on my mind for all of the time I'm there. I don't know what to do.

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Re: Don't know how to cope - August 7th 2014, 09:22 PM


First, it is OKAY to cry, and it is OKAY to cry around other people. I'm sure the rest of your family is finding this incredibly hard as well, because animals become part of the family, much more than pets! They are probably grieving too, in their own ways, but sometimes it can really help to share that burden with someone else, especially someone who knows exactly what you are going through.

I'm not going to lie and say it won't hurt for a while. For a while, I went through basically what you did. I'd think I'd hear my dog's feet against the floor or see her lift her head up on my parents' bed at night. After a while, you do begin to come to terms with it more and that will begin to happen less. Maybe it will help to remember that she will ALWAYS carry a special place in your heart and will never truly fully leave you.

This is a piece of writing my guidance counselor showed me after my dog passed. It's called The Rainbow Bridge. Basically it says all animals that pass away go to the Rainbow Bridge, where they are healthy again and run with the other animals, and one day they will meet you again. It sounds a lot better in writing, though.

I know it can be hard to go away after all of this, but I wouldn't advise holding in everything that you are feeling because eventually it will explode. Try and find a way to express what you are feeling, even if it's writing something about her and the life she had, sort of like a memorial, or maybe making a nice scrapbook, because at least that way you will be remembering her in a good way, not in a sad way. But if you need to, you can always put the pictures elsewhere and when you are feeling better, you can revisit them.

Take some time out for yourself. This is hard, but it's even harder if you keep on going and going without stopping to take a breather. Do something nice for yourself. Watch a movie. Read a book. Eat good food. Take care of yourself. She'd want you to be happy and healthy and taking care of yourself.

I am so sorry though. If you ever want to talk, don't hesitate to PM me.


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Re: Don't know how to cope - August 8th 2014, 05:18 AM

I'm really sorry to hear.
Like Dez said, take a moment for yourself. Write, read, do something that is for you.
If you need anything, feel free to PM me.

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