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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
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I feel like an awful person - August 17th 2014, 02:58 AM

This thread has been labeled as triggering by the original poster or by a Moderator. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

I feel like a god awful pet owner. I love my dog. I really do. But sometimes when I punish him, I am too rough. I'm working on stopping. Instead of a light smack, he gets a finger point, tap on the nose and a firm NO if he does something (ie growl). He's a 7lb Pomeranian.

Today, he snarled at my roommate, so he got a firm NO, a tap on the nose and a neck scruff. I went to send him to bed, and i dropped him on the floor (from a bed..) and he hit the floor and started yelping and oh my god, i feel like such a bad person . He was limping at first, but now he's walking fine and I just feel like such a god awful person.

I know I shouldn't have dropped him off the bed, but I didn't think it would have hurt him and at the time I was pissed because he does NOT do that no matter what.

I made a promise to him and myself that I am never ever going to do that again. Ever. Finger tap and firm no from now on.

I don't want to hear what a bad person I am, because I know. Oh god do I know. I had a panic attack after it because I shouldn't have done it, and what if i'd have hurt him badly.. I don't understand why he still loves me. I feel like he deserves a hell of a lot better than I can offer him.

In all honesty, after I did that, I didn't want him around me. I felt like a monster. Like an effing monster.

Like I should just go kill myself for doing that to him. Hes little and I can't believe I hurt him. I almost self harmed in means of cutting, I did dig my nails into my leg and almost hit myself , and as you can see, I've been self harm/cut free for 3 months.

It hurts me even more because he came to me with his tail wagging when I reopened my bedroom door after my panic attack. He licked the tears off my face. Even though he'd stopped limping and he could go up/down stairs and get up and down things fine... I still feel bad. My roommate said that makes me a good owner because I felt awful after it, which means I care. But i feel like if i was a good owner, I wouldn't have done it.

Im sorry I just needed to get that out. If you're just going to call me a bad owner, please save it. i feel bad enough as is.




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Re: I feel like an awful person - August 17th 2014, 04:19 AM

Hey! Don't stress out too much. Everyone makes mistakes.
I can tell you're a generous and a loving owner of your dog. Your dog is fine. I remember when I was around 9 years old I was playing cricket in the backyard with my cousins and I swung the bat to hit the ball and accidentally got my dog in the face. Felt horrible afterwards but they just gradually move on. Tough little buggers!




Last edited by weaved1; August 17th 2014 at 05:10 AM.
   
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Re: I feel like an awful person - August 17th 2014, 10:52 AM

Hi there Rachael,

Please try not to get so worked up about it, you just made a mistake. Dogs are tough creatures even the smaller ones so it's unlikely you've done any lasting damage.

Sometimes in the heat of the moment we do things a bit rougher than we mean to with pets. I have two rats and sometimes they bite through my clothes and catch my skin, when that happens I'll pick them up and tell them no but occasionally if their bite has really hurt I'll pick them up a bit rougher than I mean to and they'll squeak at me.

Do you feel like this only happens with your dog? Or do you lose your temper easily at other times as well? If so, you could look into advice for anger management and controlling your emotions and that might make it easier for you to think before punishing your dog and you won't lash out as much.

I hope this helped, take care


   
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Re: I feel like an awful person - August 18th 2014, 02:48 AM

thank you guys. I was so upset last night. He seems absolutely fine today. He got very very excited when we got home from going out, and hes been stretching and moving fine (he has this stretch he does, we call it his ballerina stretch. He stretches each back leg out fully behind him as he does his every day stretches) it was a real relief to see him doing his ballerina stretch because then I knew there was nothing wrong with his hips/pelvis.

Im very relieved. So relieved. I did feel kind of bad when he was super happy to see me though. In a way its like... he forgave me. In a way its like... why does he still like me..




http://www.teenhelp.org/blogs/2hot4u/

R.I.P Mommy </3 July 1,1963-April 8, 2012. I miss you

It's a momentary relief from the existential terror of existence!

Had to get stitches for the first time due to self harm on June 2, 2013
   
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Re: I feel like an awful person - August 23rd 2014, 07:56 AM

You sound like a good pet owner!
Like the other members have said, everyone makes mistakes and we all learn from them.


   
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Re: I feel like an awful person - September 2nd 2014, 02:06 PM

I am glad that your dog is completely fine!
And don't feel bad. You're not a bad owner. Your dog loves you as you are.
As all the others said, mistakes can be made sometimes but we all learn from mistakes we made to make it better in the end.
Whether you're chubby, slim, rich or poor, your dog loves you because you are who you are.
Stay yourself and stay strong!



Colin / 17 / Pre-op Trans-Guy
on T since 12/21/16





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Re: I feel like an awful person - September 3rd 2014, 02:00 PM

I pretty much agree with what everyone else is saying. I am, too, also glad that your dog is fine and alright. Everyone makes mistakes and we have to learn from them, so that we don't make the same mistakes again.




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