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I don't know what to do - May 3rd 2017, 10:16 AM

This thread has been labeled as triggering by the original poster or by a Moderator. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

My cat is very "loud" at night and instead of tryibg different methods to resolve the situation, he repeats the same things and then gets angry when it does work and yells at me like I'm somehow in control of my cat's behaviors. He keeps threatening or mentioning either physical harm towards my cat or putting him out on the streets and did owning him. He has been our cat for close to 11 years. Giving him up is NOT an option to me.


Some of the things my cats do are:

Meow loudly at nighf, come into our room and putting his paws on our hair and wakes us up (doesn't hurt but we lose sleep)
He pees out of the litterbox. I suffered a lot from this because he peed in a box that had my clean clothes and my family showed no card or concern for me. They told me I should have been "neater" but I've been asking my dad for a normal place to put my clothes and he absolutely refuses. My sisters have shelves and drawers and a dresser but my dad makes me use boxes (this goes into more about how my dad seems to treat me less than my sisters and not really about my cat as much so I will leave it at that but the boxes were easily accessible to my cat)

My cat does the kneading thing in my arm. My dad yells at me to make him stop but my cat seems to be in a trance when he does this and if I push him off gently, my cat will just come back to my arm and do it more and have a stronger grip.

HW wants to eat a lot at night and seems like no matter how much we give him before we go to bed, he wants to be fed fresh on the early morning during our human sleeping hours.

He makes noises like shuffling plastic bags and licks the bags and eventually he might sit in one but this can be annoying when we try to sleep.

Our door doesn't close properly and doesn't lock at all
If we put something to keep the door closed he will meow the whole night till we open it


I keep telling my dad that my cat needs a bigger (deeper i in height) litter box but he doesn't believe me that that's something worth investing in. He keeps blaming me for it and doesn't want to focus on what we could do.

My theory is that my cat is peeing more than he did when he was younger and with that makes the box needing cleaning more frequently but even if we scoop the solid put, there's still the fact that the litter sand is cold and wet and he doesn't like it. There's no drainage.

Btw we are using a plastic box as a liter box, not a specifically designed liter box for cats or anything

Also I think he should see the vet at least for a checkup becsuse what if it is serious and has to do with his kidney functioning? I'm worried that peeing for him is painful becsuse he meows a lot and walks around and gets like restless about it before he goes. Sometimes he does half on the floor in a corner and then runs to the box and finishes there

My dad is concerned more about if my cat pees in the corner of the wall that it will leak to the people downstairs. Or about the smell (which by the way, this is affecting me a lot and not to compare but my belongings are breing affected and his are not so I'm upset he is making it about himself)
My cat does this only to me and my dad, we are his primary caretakers and we share a bedroom but in the old apartment we didn't and things werent this challenging.
When i went on a 9 day trip, ftkm shat ive heard, my cat dI'd this to my dad and then to one of my sisters. And grom whst i hesrd he missed me and 'was acting out' .

I want him to see a vet but I don't have the funds. My financial situation is really bad and I'm ecen angrier at my dad and older sister becsuse they both violated me financially repeatedly abd now I'm broke and still don't have a job.

I don't know what to do.
   
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Re: I don't know what to do - May 5th 2017, 09:02 AM

Hey there,

It sounds like there are two things going on here: the issues with your cat, and your relationship with your father. It must be frustrating to have to deal with both simultaneously, especially when they interact with each other so much.

Honestly, if there is some way you could get your cat to the vet, I think that would be the best option. Some vets will do payment plans, especially if you've used them before, so you might be able to work something out. Especially in a cat who's on the older end of the spectrum, sudden changes like this could indicate a deeper problem. Have any of these behaviours developed or become more noticeable recently? It could be that some environment change has influenced them, such as a change in diet or increase in stress. If you can figure out the cause for them, you might be able to work on resolving them.

It also might be a good idea to invest in another litter box if possible. I've always gone by cats + one as a rule of thumb - have one litter box for every cat in the house, plus a spare. That way there's always somewhere clean for them to use. It's possible that part of the problem is that your cat doesn't feel like the litter box is clean enough, as you mentioned, which could potentially be fixed by either cleaning more rigorously/frequently or having an extra litter box. You could try explaining this to your dad by pointing out that it will reduce the chances of your cat going outside the litter box, which in turn will make life easier for everyone.

In regards to the other issues, the best thing would be to have all plastic bags and other potentially noisy things out of reach of the cat. Put them in a cupboard or something similar if you can, so that your cat doesn't have a chance to rustle them and wake people up or keep people awake. In terms of food, does he have anything available to him overnight? My cats get a can of cat food each for dinner, then a bowl of dry food that they can nibble on overnight. This makes them less likely to wake me up in the morning because they can graze throughout the night. Maybe something similar could work for you and your cat.

I hope some of this was helpful, and I do hope the situation improves for you soon!


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then you hide or keep on running
'cause she's slain the gods before.
   
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Re: I don't know what to do - May 5th 2017, 02:16 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Psychomachia. View Post
Hey there,

It sounds like there are two things going on here: the issues with your cat, and your relationship with your father. It must be frustrating to have to deal with both simultaneously, especially when they interact with each other so much.

Honestly, if there is some way you could get your cat to the vet, I think that would be the best option. Some vets will do payment plans, especially if you've used them before, so you might be able to work something out. Especially in a cat who's on the older end of the spectrum, sudden changes like this could indicate a deeper problem. Have any of these behaviours developed or become more noticeable recently? It could be that some environment change has influenced them, such as a change in diet or increase in stress. If you can figure out the cause for them, you might be able to work on resolving them.

It also might be a good idea to invest in another litter box if possible. I've always gone by cats + one as a rule of thumb - have one litter box for every cat in the house, plus a spare. That way there's always somewhere clean for them to use. It's possible that part of the problem is that your cat doesn't feel like the litter box is clean enough, as you mentioned, which could potentially be fixed by either cleaning more rigorously/frequently or having an extra litter box. You could try explaining this to your dad by pointing out that it will reduce the chances of your cat going outside the litter box, which in turn will make life easier for everyone.

In regards to the other issues, the best thing would be to have all plastic bags and other potentially noisy things out of reach of the cat. Put them in a cupboard or something similar if you can, so that your cat doesn't have a chance to rustle them and wake people up or keep people awake. In terms of food, does he have anything available to him overnight? My cats get a can of cat food each for dinner, then a bowl of dry food that they can nibble on overnight. This makes them less likely to wake me up in the morning because they can graze throughout the night. Maybe something similar could work for you and your cat.

I hope some of this was helpful, and I do hope the situation improves for you soon!
Thank you so much. We moved about 2 years ago and that move, though only across the street, seemed to really traumatize him. He seemed to have recovered but for the most part but there was the peeing problem that began. The waking us up thing got more intense since went on a 3 months trip and usually he doesn't leave for more than a day or two but he traveled a lot within the last 6 months, way more than usual.

The locking of plastic bags was always a thing he did but I guess we downsized a lot so we can hear everything louder as our space is much smaller. In the other apartment he would lick bags too just near us I guess.

I gave been looking into litter boxes and a pet carrier. And then I will look into vets next. Seems like the one he was taken to many years ago does not take new clients anymore but I filled out an online form anyway becsuse technically we were clients, just been about a decade.


Thank you again
   
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Re: I don't know what to do - May 16th 2017, 03:45 AM

Thanks for this threads its help..
   
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