Triggering (Grieving): My cat's gone :'(

[Gemma =]]

I woke up this morning and found my cat mouth breathing and she was really struggling to breath. She was just lying of the floor and she'd urinated and hadn't been able to move away from it. I sat with her almost an hour until a taxi came to take us to the vet.
She kept trying to meow but because she couldn't breathe, she could hjardly make any noise.
At the vet practice she was put down.
I can't stop crying, I miss her so much.
I stayed with her when they gave her the injection because I didn't want her to be alone with strangers when she went.
But she was so ill that I'm not sure she even knew I was there.
I satyed with her a little while after she'd gone, I stroked her, kissed her head and told her I loved her but I want to go back, I feel so guilty.
I know it's not my fault and she's not in pain anymore but I feel so bad for her having to die, and then me leaving her at the vet's.

She was 14 and I'm 18. She's been in my life as long as I can remember. She's been such a trooper, she's been ill countless times, she's even lost an eye. Over the years I think I began to think that she was invinceable.

I know you're not supposed to have favourites but she was my favourite cat out of our three. She was so loving, she was always cuddling someone and my friends loved her because she would cuddle them too. She was such a happy cat and I hated seeing her like that. I'll never forget her and it's going to take me a while to get over this. I love you Kitty

[i_am_me_again]

Hi Gemma

Im so sorry about your loss, your post made me very tearful, I absoluetly love cats, I have my own who lives with me in my flat.

I just feel for you....I wish I could magically bring her back.

I really cant tell you how I feel for you......Awwww...I can feel how you feel. I have a connection with cats.

R.I.P in Kitty heaven.

Jamie
xx

[Nina Twin]

I'm so sorry to hear that! Poor, kitty. I truly believe, though, that she's in a kitty heaven having a great time catching mice, don't you? It's good to think that she won't have to be sick anymore.

She sounded like an amazing, beautiful cat. My brother had a similar experience with his favorite cat, Meekrat, so I can understand. Animals can easily become more like family than pets. I know it sounds corny, but I know that personally, it makes things a lot better for me when I think about all the good times I had and all the fun experiences I got to share with my pets. It puts a smile on my face.

[BabyGirl747]

gemma its hard losing a pet, but your kitty is in kitty heaven shes got all the catnip, cat food and all the cat toys she could ever want, its very fun in cat heaven,
shes in a better place where she can see out of both her eyes and doesnt have to worry about breathing. just remember all the happy times, i lost my hamster but i know he's happy, he's running on the big wheel in the sky

[Power Cosmic]

Aw Gem, I'm so so sorry to hear about that. =(.

I wish I knew what more to say, but I'm sure she was a happy, content cat.
Just think about how she lived a long and fulfilling life..

Don't feel guilty at all Gemma, you were amazing for her, and I'm sure she did know you were there and was comforted by you being there for her in the end.

You have my deepest sympathies..

[John Doe]

I'm realy sorry to hear that Gemma. I'm a total animal nut, can hardly watch animal cops without freakin out. Your cat was lucky to have lived a long life, 14 years with someone like you, and I'm sure that she realized that. I know that she was aware that you were there with her, and I'm sure she took comfort in it. You have nothing to feel guilty of, it sounds to me like you were an amazing freind to her. I'll say this again, she was lucky to have you, and you her.

[sphynx]

Hey Gemma.

Cats are the love of my life. I've lost one before and almost lost another several years ago, and each time it's happened, it never seemed to get any easier. I can certainly sympathise with what you're going through and I empathise with your emotions. Though I understand the grief you're going through, and though the tears and the pain and the heartache have to happen, the way I like to look at death is that I'm not grieving the life that they lost but celebrating the life that they lived. You sound as though you loved her very much, and this love seems reflected in her own behaviour. Our animals, especially those we're bonded to, tend to mirror our emotions and, quite honestly, our treatment of them.

I understand you feeling guilty for leaving her at the vet's office, but you did what you had to do. Perhaps you could hold a memorial service? I remember when my first baby, Snuggles, passed on. He was struck by a car, and the only thing the people who'd hit him could offer me was his blue collar. I ended up placing that blue collar in a shoebox, along with his favourite toys, his rope leash, his clothes (I played dress up with him as a child ), etc. and then held a service in the backyard. I buried these things with my family standing around, and we had what could be considered a proper funeral. I've also done memory boxes before, where I've put writings, mementos, objects etc. involving my passed love ones into a box and have tied it shut with fancy ribbon and then placed it somewhere safe and secret. If it's your preference, you could also have a special altar for her, until you're able to put her belongings away. And then there are people who don't do much at all. It all depends on you. I just figured I'd offer some suggestions for what makes me feel a little bit better and as though I've more closure.

I'm sorry for your loss.

xo Claire

[Mad Mel]

Gemma, I'm so sorry.
I have no doubt that she knew that you were with her. I'm sure that it made her much more comfortable. As she was a part of your life, you were a part of hers and your being there must've made her departure one of happiness.

I agree with Claire's idea for a memorial service. It might help bring you some closure, as well as a smile when you remember all the happy times you had with her.


You have my sympathies dear. If you ever want to reminesce old memories about her, feel free to PM me.

[xander]

Gemma,
im sorry to hear about this, i have lost 5 cats, they were all special, and 1 of them i put the special like this "special", she used to walk sideways, your post was very deep, and moved me, if u wanna talk about it more feel free to pm me xxxx

[silent pain]

hi! I am so sorry about your cat. ... I know what you are going through, I had to put my dog down yesterday, I've had her for just about 10 years. It's the hardest thing I've had to do, I've been crying since yesterday. I feel the same way you do about feeling guilty, but you just have to remember that she is in a better place and she is not in pain anymore (I am trying to remind myself that over and over again too!).

Hope you're feeling better