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I made it to 27 days without cutting, then I got in a fight with my sister, and I did it. Now I feel really bad. It felt good. I missed the blood. Now im scared I wont be able to fight the addictions anymore because I got the sight of the blood again
First of all, you should be very proud of yourself for making it to 27 days cut free. This is a really wonderful accomplishment. You shouldn't put yourself down for relapsing. Everyone slips up sometimes, but what matters is that you are able to pick yourself up and start over again.
One way to do this is having alternatives to go to, such as the ones listed here, so you have something to do when you get the urge. When I'm triggered I try to talk to people or go spend time with others, because it is harder to self harm when you are with someone else.
Another thing that I suggest to people is making goals for yourself for an amount of days self harm free. For example, you might say "I have a goal to make it three days without self harming." It might make it easier on you when you have something to work for and then be proud of accomplishing. And pretty soon, your three day goal can turn into a week, and then two weeks, and so on. If you do slip up, don't feel down. Just pick yourself up and start over. Reward yourself for not self harming as well. For example, you can say "If I make it a week without self harming, I will buy myself that new game I wanted." It's a really good idea to make yourself feel good when it comes to not self harming.
I know that it may be hard now, but you CAN do this. This is a temporary bump in the road that you can move past. You've already showed that you are strong, so I have faith that you can do it again.
The lights are out and I barely know you
We're going up and the place is slowing down
That's amazing that you made it so long! That's almost a month! Give yourself a hug for that one
What I find that helps me is not to keep track of the days Ive been without it. I used to count days like religiously. But I find it's easier to not think about cutting if you aren't keeping track of days. Every time you think about how many data it has been you feel like you need to cut even more and it's a constant reminder.
Im so happy that you are trying so hard and are on the road to recovery. We all mess up but it's not the mess up that defines who we are, it's how we act after. Do we try again or do we throw in the towel and give in? It's up to you what to do, but I know you can be strong and kick this addiction in the ass even though it will be so hard try to remember how strong you really are. If you ever would like to talk you can always PM me. My mailbox is always open.