I Want To Cut, But I Don't Want To Get Caught

Yorehl · **I Want To Cut, But I Don't Want To Get Caught -** April 23rd 2012, 11:10 PM

Is it wrong? Today my therapist asked me a very odd question. Do i want to stop. I told her, that depends on what you're asking. Was the question referring to losing the want to do it, or to just stop doing it. I do want to lose the need, although that probably wont happen. But i don't want to stop. I don't see anything wrong with my cuts. I just don't want to get caught doing it. That's my main fear. Is it wrong that i do want to cut? That i want to hurt myself because i can feel it helping and i dont see anything wrong with it? I don't know.

Cataclysmic

Well, see, that depends on what you would consider "wrong." I mean, it's bad that you get the urges to do so and carry out the act, since it isn't a good way to cope. But does it make you in the wrong that you have the urges TO cut without getting caught? Again, well, there are better ways to go about coping with your emotions and in that sense it is, but am I going to say you're wrong? No. I probably would self harm a lot more than I do if the risk to get caught wasn't there. Now, SHOULD you stop? Yes, since in the end it's really not worth it.

Did this make sense to you? If not I can reexplain.

gymnastxxLeah

these feelings are, while unhealthy, common. most people who self-harm wish they didnt want to, but they dont want to stop because they DO want to cut ; if that makes any sense. the point is: you're not alone! you shouldn't feel like you're crazy or alone, because you're not.

you say you don't see anything wrong with cutting yourself, which is a dangerous addumption. cutting yourself is serious. it is just as bad as starving your body with an eating disorder, or poisoning it with drugs. i think you should talk to your therapist about this, and she'll help you see problems with it that may push you to stop it. i know it's hard to stop, but with support you can do it.

big hugs, and lots of support! (:

EndureEmo

im here to talk,
i am also a self harmer, and i wear my scars on my arms and legs, people dont understand why i do it, i dont decide to do it, i just have to!... i used to cover it up, but this is who i am, and i cant help that i have this disorder of depression.

i get told all the time it will get better, and we just nead to belive there is a light at the end.

survivor16

I wouldn't say it's a good thing. I've been there, though. But it's something that you probably should work through to stop having these urges since it's the urges that are causing the action.
If that makes sense?

I hope that you are able to be open with your therapist and talk to her about how you dont think it's wrong.

Like some of the above posts said, there are so many other better ways to cope and it's not worth it. Purposefully hurting yourself is not a good thing, and shouldn't be taken lightly.
But are you a bad person for doing so? No! No way. It's just a struggle you are having right now and you can work through the urges (even though you dont think you will) but it has been done.

I hope this helped, message me if you need anything.

P.S there is light at the end of the tunnel.

Shelby