Triggering (SH): Self harm or anger problems?

[Luke.J]

I don't know if I just have anger problems which seems really unlike me or what. It's just that when I get upset or angry I just feel like the only way I can feel better is by hitting my self or touching hot objects or pulling my hair ect. For example I went out for a meal with some family last night and we had some cake, I had some and my dad didn't want his so I ate it and afterwards my (pregnant) antie said that she wanted it so everyone stared saying things like how could you steal food from a pregnant woman ect they were joking and not being serious but i just got really upset and went into the toilets and hit myself in the face a few times.
I think it's becuase I feel like it's my fault and I need to punish my self.

[Katherine96]

Basically, anything that you do to harm yourself or to inflict pain upon yourself is self harm. I completely understand what you mean about wanting to punish yourself - I am the same sometimes. But you don't need to punish yourself, we're all human and we all make mistakes at the end of the day! How long have you been doing this for? I would strongly advise you to tell someone to get help, because releasing your anger on yourself is not a good way to live... Always here x

[Luke.J]

erm about a year but I only get that angry about once or twice a month

[PurpleMoon]

Yes it is, as its harming yourself in anyway...
Just becasue you do it when your angry doesnt make a differece, your still harming you self. I'm the same, let me know if you need to talk about it. Try to stop if you can

[Luke.J]

I don't do it that often and people don't notice.
Some people get angry and punch other people or objects some people cry I hit myself there isn't really much difference.

[PurpleMoon]

There is, people shouldnt shout at others when there ager or do any of that stuff when there angry. Try talk about how you feel, like with me or somone you trust before you do somthing likt this

[Katherine96]

Have you ever tried doing something else to release your anger? I sometimes punch my pillows or duvet to release anger. You could have a look at the alternatives thread if you are willing to try, it'll be worth it, trust me I agree with talking to someone, you'd be surprised at how much it can help! Even if you can't talk to someone in real life, everyone on here will be willing to listen <3

[Luke.J]

I don't really have anger problems i am usually really calm and collected just occasional times of weakness but I do want to stop.
Just to be clear SH doesn't mean I have mental health problems, i'm not going to be sent to a psychiatrist or anything? That is one thing that worries me.

[Katherine96]

Well that's the first big step, wanting to stop great start! Is there anyone you trust enough to talk to?
I don't really know much about the help etc... You can get for SH but I do know that you can't be forced to do anything you don't want to! If you went to your doctor about it then you might get referred to a counsellor or CAMHS possibly, but as far as I'm aware it's your choice!
Please someone correct me if I'm wrong! <3

[Luke.J]

Well there are a few teachers I could tell but I only have 4 days of school left and I don't want to throw this on them at this late stage.
I have never really thought of it as a problem more just my way of coping with things. I always though that self harm was just sitting there and repeatedly cutting yourself. Apart from a few teachers there is no one else I want to tell becuase now I feel stupid .

[Katherine96]

It's good you have teachers you can tell. Are you at the end of year 11? Are you moving to somewhere else or staying at your school next year? Self harm is doing anything to harm yourself, not just cutting. You shouldn't feel stupid, you aren't stupid! You have as much right to get help and recover as anyone else does. You'll probably have to look into this some more, or you could talk to people who are already getting professional help, but you could go directly to your GP and talk to them and you might be able to get professional help.
You can send me a PM if you ever want to talk privately

[Luke.J]

Thank you so much this has really helped and I am at the end of year 11 going to 6th form in september

[Katherine96]

I alright, I do my best. Glad it's helped if you're staying at the school you're at now for sixth form next year then there is no reason why you can't tell a teacher now because they will be able to offer you support as soon as you start again in September. <3

[Luke.J]

unfortunately I am going to a seperate 6th form.

[Katherine96]

How would you feel talking to someone when you start I'm sixth form? Have you ever considered telling your parents, sibling or other family member? It might help having the support of someone close to you <3

[Luke.J]

hmm yeah i might possibly tell someone at college and I have considered telling a relative and then completely decided it was a bad idea.

[Katherine96]

I think telling someone at your college would be a good idea because then they might be able to sort out something for you alongside your lessons Why did you decide it would be a bad idea telling a relative?