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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
Cutie7519 Offline
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Has the urge but I'm happy - July 11th 2012, 12:46 AM

This thread has been labeled as triggering, particularly on the subject of self harm, by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread might therefore not be suitable for certain sensitive users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

Okay, last night I was in the kitchen with my parents cutting up some peppers for chili rellenos. But my mom was explaining to me how to cut the pepper and I was holding a really sharp knife (A knife used for cutting vegetables, etc) and next I looked at how sharp it was and next I got the urge to slice my wrists right there and then screaming in front of my mom "I'm sick of this life!" and cut my wrists.

I mean I was happy last night but why did I have that urge? Am I crazy?

"It's easier to run, replacing this pain with something numb, it's so much easier to go, than face all this pain here all alone."- Linkin Park, Easier to run

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|Courtney| Offline
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Re: Has the urge but I'm happy - July 11th 2012, 02:30 AM

Your not crazy. Having the urge to cut yourself is normal if your getting over or trying to stop... when I was starting to stop it happens its been a while since Ive stopped but till this day I still get them.. Your not crazy. I can understand with having a good day but still having the thought/urge to do so cause even though you had a good day you still can be hurting inside and that just wont be fixed over night... But I wish you the best and when you get the urge attempt to just blow it off be strong and stray strong!(:

Do for others more than you do for yourself.
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Re: Has the urge but I'm happy - July 11th 2012, 03:40 AM

Agreed with Courtney. I'm recovering from self-harm myself (and doing pretty good), but even then, I still find certain things (like putting away knives from the dishwasher) to be triggering, so I try to distract myself from thinking about what I'm doing. This can include chatting, listening to music, or having one of your favorite shows on in the background.

Keep strong with your recovery.

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Overall, Dare to be yourself.

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Hiraeth Offline
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Re: Has the urge but I'm happy - July 11th 2012, 05:45 PM

I get moments like those all the time. I just breathe in and out and remember that it's just an energy running through my body, that it is fluid and impermanent, and it doesn't define who I am and how I have been. When I'm in a generally good place it is easier to regain myself and move on with my day. It might come up again many times, and maybe it won't ever fully "go away", but how we are able to relate to its arising can change and become healthier over time.

"If limitations exist, it is because we have erased the possibility of potential."

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