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Self Harm If you or someone you know is struggling with self harm and needs advice or alternatives, we're here to help.

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
zTaylaHz Offline
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Exclamation Going back? - July 17th 2012, 05:37 AM

This thread has been labeled as triggering, particularly on the subject of self harm, by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread might therefore not be suitable for certain sensitive users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

Well, I haven't cut for about 3-5 months... And I haven't because my boyfriend would kill me, but I seriously think about cutting all the time. I think I deserve it for all my screw ups. I can't tell you guys how many times I've thought that as soon as we break up, I'm going right back to cutting. And I want that. I miss that feeling. I hear people say "they arent right in the head" well, I think I am when I do that.. Gives me something physical to grasp unto when theres nothing but intangible feelings and thoughts.

But could you help out and give me your ideas and thoughts? (sorry it was so long P: )
   
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Re: Going back? - July 17th 2012, 10:43 AM

Taylor,

I'm sorry you think so much about going back to cutting, I understand it must be hard for you to steer clear of it when it's there in your head so much. However, you can deal with how you feel in other ways and there's no doubt in my mind about that.

First of all, nobody, and that includes you, deserves to hurt themselves for the mistakes they have made in their past. We are all human, and as humans we do things wrong and make mistakes. That is a part of life, and it doesn't matter who you speak to, they will have made a mistake somewhere along the way in life. We don't know the consequences of many of our actions until they come, and that's what's so great about life. It gives us the chance to learn and develop - and that is what making mistakes is about. It's not about regretting it forever after, it's about remembering that now you have the chance to make it better. The future is in your control, and as humans it's our job to know that we decide our future from our past. You don't need to hurt yourself because of mistakes you made, you learn and you develop. Punishment is not necessary for this and in no way do you deserve it.

Self harm does make you feel like your head is cleared, yes, but briefly, and why would you want to be better only briefly. Honestly, self harm is a really bad way to cope with how you feel. It may give you some sort of release, but then you end up feeling worse, or back to the way you did before. It doesn't solve anything. And, of course, it's not healthy. It leaves you with scars and it gets worse over time like any addiction. It's really not worth the pain and where it will take you to, and you need to understand that. There are better ways to deal with how you feel, and ways, therefore, to fight off the urges of self harm that you're experiencing. Perhaps try taking a walk to clear your head, maybe take a camera with you and try to find something beautiful to photograph, or if you prefer, sketch something. At least that way your mind is focused on something healthier and it can help you steer clear from SH and the negative emotions you have.

I hope this has helped a bit. Generally, I just want to remind you that YOU are in control. These urges to self harm are not. The thoughts may tell you it's okay to SH, but it's not okay. It's not okay to hurt yourself when you're already hurting, or to hurt yourself for any reason at all. It's an unhealthy form of coping and you could do so much better without it. When the urges come, remember you have the ability to ignore them and fight them, and what's more, is that you have the ability to win that fight.

Take care,
Hollie.


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1953-2016

As far as we can discern,
the sole purpose of human existence
is to kindle a light in the darkness of mere being.
- Carl Jung

   
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Re: Going back? - July 17th 2012, 11:04 AM

Hello
So first of all don't just stop cutting because you want to please your boyfriend, that is just setting yourself up for disaster, you already know whats gonna happen if you guys break up, you've already expressed that so that sounds a lot like a plan to fail Don't plan to fail, plan to succeed! (same with your boyfriend, don't plan on breaking up eventually, plan on making it work or the relationship isn't worth it)
I know you miss the feeling, and I know exactly what that feels like, I missed it too but as soon as you cut you will wonder why you ever missed it in the first place, trust me.
Please please please don't use cutting as a punishment, no one deserves that, mistakes or screw ups as you called them are meant to be learned from not to be held against us. What are you learning if you punish yourself and especially in that way? Nothing. Learn from your mistakes and move on
I hope for the best for you, I really do and I want you to be happy, you don't need cutting or any sort of SH. Keep trying to find something to replace it something that will help you to feel something real and that's not harmful. I know you can do it and if you need help with anything, anything at all feel free to message me
   
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