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Self Harm If you or someone you know is struggling with self harm and needs advice or alternatives, we're here to help.

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Thaythay322 Offline
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Boyfriend saw scars.... - July 21st 2012, 05:27 AM

Just to start, I'm a normal 15 year old. I go to public school, I get good grades, I golf and sing... Normal. So because of family problems, bullying from "friends" and Emotional abuse from a parent after a divorce, I began cutting a little, but mostly burning myself a little over a year ago. I'd close my ears, lips, skin on my arms/legs etc... In a straightener or hold the clothes iron on it until my skin was raw. I'd burn in places that weren't visible except for a few. I have a large scar on my stomach and a few on my arms but most are on my fingers and legs but are faded. So anyway, my boyfriend who I've been with for about 7 months saw one of the really visible scars on my arm, and asked what it was from. I was shocked and scared that I would frighten him if I told him the truth. So I lied and told him it was an accident. I love him and I want to tell him the truth. it makes me sick to my stomach every time I think about it. So should I tell him? If so, how? My parents or friends don't know, only he and my best friend would. I just think maybe he deserves to know because I occasionally slip up and do burn myself still. I've gotten it pretty well under control, but still fall every once and a while. Help! <3
   
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Re: Boyfriend saw scars.... - July 21st 2012, 06:13 AM

I think you should tell him because it would help you in the long run. Just say something like "Ive got something to talk to you about... you remember the scars? they are actually from.... i havent been doing it lately, but...."




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It's a momentary relief from the existential terror of existence!

Had to get stitches for the first time due to self harm on June 2, 2013
   
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Re: Boyfriend saw scars.... - July 21st 2012, 07:27 AM

This is actually kind of good.
Tell him!
if he accepts you and what you are dealing witth, youll be able to tell if hes a really good person.
I dont think he would be a good person for turning you down just because of that.


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Re: Boyfriend saw scars.... - July 21st 2012, 01:29 PM

I would say tell him if you're comfortable with him knowing. But be prepared to explain a lot, as most people do not understand self-harm, even if they think they do. Understand that he will probably be very hurt and possibly angry at first, but once he accepts it, he will probably be more able to support you.


"Just open your eyes and see that life is beautiful..." ~Sixx:A.M.
   
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Re: Boyfriend saw scars.... - July 21st 2012, 07:40 PM

Hey there,

I agree with everyone else, You should tell him. You yourself said you wanted to, so you definitely should. You should also be super proud of yourself for staying self harm free for a while and slip ups happen, but you've got to pick yourself up. Having the support of your boyfriend might make it a little easier too. I know having support makes it easier for me anyway.

I also recommend using alternatives, if you haven't already started using them, because sometimes they can really help when you get the urges. Here's a list of some that could help: http://www.teenhelp.org/forums/f12-s...ves-self-harm/ Don't get discouraged if some of them don't help though, just keep trying!

Good luck and stay strong! If you ever need anyone to talk to, feel free to message me.


"You'll have to decide for yourself. Walk on your own. Move forward. You've got a strong pair of legs, Rose. You should get up and use them."
   
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Re: Boyfriend saw scars.... - July 21st 2012, 07:53 PM

Tell him and explain why you did what you did...
If he leaves you, then he isnt worth the time of day...
If he stays, he is more than likely an understanding person...




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