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Self Harm If you or someone you know is struggling with self harm and needs advice or alternatives, we're here to help.

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How to your parents? - July 27th 2012, 06:24 AM

I have been wanting to tell my parents they have not asked but theyve seen the faint scars on my arms. How should I tell them about my self harming. I dont want them to think differently of me .

Edit: Sorry didint pay atenchin to the title. How to tell your parents
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Re: How to your parents? - July 27th 2012, 07:25 AM

Hey there,

First of all, it is WONDERFUL that you want to tell your parents. It takes a lot of courage, and you are doing a great thing by telling them.

One thing you can do is just be honest with them. They are your parents and they love you very much. They just want to see you happy. Sit down with them on a day when they are in a relatively good mood and just be honest. Say that there is something you need to tell them and explain to them what is going on and how you are feeling. It might help you if you print out bits of information on self harm so they can understand a little bit more about what you are going through.

Does anyone else know about your self harm, such as another friend or family member? One thing you can do is have them come with you when you sit down and tell your parents. That way, you will have someone supporting you through this.

Another option you have is writing them a letter and telling them that way. This option may help because then nerves and interruptions won't get in the way. Then, deliver the letter. They still may want to talk to you about it but it may help to get it out through the letter first.

Best of luck, tell me how it goes!

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Re: How to your parents? - July 27th 2012, 09:22 AM

Hi there.

I think its really brave of you to make that desicion to tell you parents and to be honest about your self harming. I know that talking to people about this can be difficult and its really brave of you to want to do so.

I think the best way forward is to be honest with them. Sit them down and tell them how it is. Dont try and make it look better than it is; be straight and tell them how you're feeling and how you're coping with that. Talking can be hard so if you feel like you cant tell them phsyically, you can try writing them a letter. I know I always find writing really helpful and maybe thats something you could try.

Dez also gave a good idea of having someone else with you while you do tell them. Maybe you can think about that one as well.

You can do this. Dont let your fears and anxiety stop you from being honest and letting your parents in. I feel positive in saying that I am sure they'll want to help you and support you as best as they can do. And remember, if you ever need anyone, we're always here too.


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Re: How to your parents? - July 27th 2012, 09:46 AM

Hey there,

I think it is great that you want to tell your parents. It is always a good thing to have a strong support team helping you through your struggles with self harm and by telling your parents you could get one step closer to getting that support.

I think that the other two have supplied you with a lot of great information. I think the idea of printing off information for them to read about self harm can be really beneficial to helping them better understand it. I know that when my mom found out about my self harm she read a lot of books about it and did research on the internet. After she did that she told me that while she still has trouble understanding it, completely, doing the research and having that information helped her better comprehend.

Do you think that you want to go to counseling to try and deal with this? If so let your parents in on that. Maybe you could sit down and write a list of things you hope to gain from telling your parents about your self harm:

Them having more awareness
Better communication between the three of you

If you have a list of things you hope to gain from this you can then discuss this with them.

I know that this is a scary step to take but it is worth it because you do not deserve to be fighting this battle alone and with your parents having this knowledge they can be by your side. EVERYONE deserves a support group. And, don't worry about them thinking differently, I don't think that they will think differently of you as much as they will want to see you get to a better place where you do not need self harm.

I really hope this helped and if you need anything please feel free to pm me.

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Re: How to your parents? - July 27th 2012, 03:19 PM

Well first no friends that I live close too or anything I could tell. And Im not sure if I want to go to therapy I think if I can tell them I would like to but I dont know.
Thanks all of you
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