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Self Harm If you or someone you know is struggling with self harm and needs advice or alternatives, we're here to help.

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painislife16 Offline
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self harm how do you help it - August 8th 2012, 09:55 PM

i've been self harming myself sense i was about five i'm finally trying to get help
Can someone help at all that gets it?
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Chuuya Offline
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Re: self harm how do you help it - August 8th 2012, 10:34 PM

Hey there,

First of all, I think it's wonderful that you're trying to get help and I know that self harm is really hard to recover from, I'm trying myself, but it is possible and you can do this, sometimes you just have to have someone to be there for you. I really suggest talking to someone you trust about it, like a friend, family member, teacher or a counselor. If you're nervous you could always write out everything you want to say beforehand, or just write them a letter. Sometimes it can really help because it makes it a lot easier!

You should also try to figure out why you self harm and what triggers you to do it. You can do this by keeping a journal and then when you feel the urge just write how you're feeling and what's going on and then try to distract yourself, or go and talk to someone you trust about it. Figuring out why you self harm and what triggers you can help because then you can figure out ways to deal with it.

I also recommend using alternatives instead of self harming. You can do something you love to do, or try some new hobbies or just talk to someone, or get on teenhelp for example Here's some alternatives that you can try: http://www.teenhelp.org/forums/f12-s...ves-self-harm/ Just go through the list and try out a few you think might help, but don't get discouraged if some of them don't work, because different alternatives help different people. Just keep trying and you should be able to find a few that can help you out.

I hope I helped a bit, and if you ever need anyone to talk to feel free to message me! Good luck and take care!

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Re: self harm how do you help it - August 8th 2012, 11:08 PM

It's great that you want to take the necessary steps to quitting self-harm! You should be very proud of yourself for making that choice.

One thing that has really helped me is having someone to take the journey with me. Personally, I have an amazing therapist who has been really supportive of me. I'm sure there is someone in your life who would be willing to walk this path with you as well. Perhaps you could talk to a close friend, a family member, a teacher, or a counselor. Trust me, people will want to help you, especially when they see that you are willing to put in the work. Just make sure that you're honest with them about your successes and your slip-ups. It's the only way they'll be able to know what's really going on and do their best to help you in whatever way they can.

You might also want to check out our handy alternatives thread, which Lauren has provided for you above. Finding something to do in place of self harm is so helpful because it gives you a different way to spend your time. One thing that you do need to realize is that the best alternative for one person might not be the best alternative for another. So, don't get discouraged. Just keep looking for something that is perfect for you - something that is healthy and gives you the proper distraction to keep you from harming yourself.

Good luck! I'm always here if you need someone to talk to.

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Re: self harm how do you help it - August 9th 2012, 05:43 PM

thank you both
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Palmolive Offline
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Re: self harm how do you help it - August 9th 2012, 06:02 PM

Hi there

I think its brilliant that you've come to us here asking for help on how to stop. i know even deciding to try and stop can be hard and I think you've done wonderful reaching out to us.

Have you looked at our list of alternatives? I know you have previously been sent the link for it and I'd like to encourage you to check it out. Now remember that not everything out there is going to work for you. You'll come across things which help and come across things that don't. So it is all about trial and error and not giving up when you do come across the things that don't help you - Keep on trying!

There have been a few things that at times really help me. The first one being to snap a glow band when you get the urges to hurt yourself. You're then not allowed to hurt yourself until the glow band has stopped glowing which is normally, on average about 8-12 hours later. Another thing is to make a hapyy box. Get a box and decorate it with anything you like and then fill it with things that help you in that moment and give you hope. It can be from anything from books, films to letters and photo's; anything that helps YOU.

I often find writing useful too. I write a lot and I even write to the people helping me. It makes it a lot easier for me. Have you tired writing things down? I have a separate notebook to drot things down in the moment to. This way I can make what I feel inside external.

I know that beating this is hard but I also know that it's possible and that you CAN do it if you work hard at this and put peoples advice into action. Try things and keep your chin up because you will get there. Remember you're not alone in this. People (friends, family, teachers etc) are all there to support you and so can we but people can only help if you let them know whats happening for you.

Keep fighting, you've got this

"Only in the dark, can you see the stars..."
Josie 12/3/2014, always in my heart. Sue 19/2/2016; Peter, Ellie, Hannah, Andy, Kirtsie RIP.

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