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Self Harm If you or someone you know is struggling with self harm and needs advice or alternatives, we're here to help.

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Riley K Offline
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Relapses and Lies - August 15th 2012, 07:45 AM

This thread has been labeled as triggering, particularly on the subject of self harm, by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread might therefore not be suitable for certain sensitive users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

Tonight I was really scared. I had a panic-y feeling all throughout my body and I could not sleep. My mind was making up things and I needed something to focus on. I relapsed and cut myself. A lot. As soon as I was done my mind immediately to my very "supportive" boyfriend. Last time this happened he threatened me with insane asylums and break ups and everything else. I knew I couldn't lie to him. I called him as soon as I could and told him what happened and why. He was furious. He yelled at me for half an hour and told me he was taking me to a doctor. I bawled and begged him for one more chance. He made me feel horrible and left me wanting to cut myself even more. He made fun of me and called me psychotic. He broke my heart and made me even more scared. He tells me he's always there to listen and I can call him at anytime but tonight he made me regret ever believing anything he's ever said. I love him, but he's killing me...I can't sleep because I'm so scared of losing him...I just don't know what to do...I can't quit cutting on my own...but I can't talk to him about it...and I don't trust anyone else enough to tell them what is going on...I need help but not from a doctor and definitely not from my parents...
   
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Re: Relapses and Lies - August 15th 2012, 08:42 PM

Hey there,

Sometimes when people tell someone who really cares about them about self harm, they don't always react the way we want to. It's not a great feeling, but it does happen, what I suggest is try calming him in a day or so, if he doesn't call you first, and ask him if you can talk about what happened, and tell him that you don't like the way he's reacting to the self harm, and that it's not going to help if he yells and threatens, you might ask him to support you in trying to stop, and make an agreement to see a doctor, because I do think he was right about that. He's not a professional, and he can't give you the help that you deserve for this problem, all he can do is support you in recovery. Tell him you don't like being called names, and that it's really hurtful. If he doesn't want to change his behavior and be supportive of you, he's not worth it.

When I told one of my friends about self harm, they were not happy, and they yelled at me too, at first I just took it because I thoguht deserved it, but it just made me feel worse, and I told him that, and he stopped, he became more supportive. There might be times when he's frustrated about it, because I think he really cares about you, he's just showing it in a not so great way.

When you talk to him, maybe go through some things you'll try to do to try not to self harm, like trying alternatives, or calling him before you do something. Sometimes you just need someone to talk to to make you feel a whole lot better. And try some alternatives too. Here's a list that might be helpful: http://www.teenhelp.org/forums/f12-s...ves-self-harm/

I hope I helped a bit, feel free to send me a message if you ever want to talk. Good luck and take care!


"You'll have to decide for yourself. Walk on your own. Move forward. You've got a strong pair of legs, Rose. You should get up and use them."
   
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Re: Relapses and Lies - August 15th 2012, 10:47 PM

First off, he shouldn't have been making fun of you for that or calling you crazy. That isn't right. My bf, when I relapse, he actually is supportive and loving and caring. Now THAT'S the way you should be treated too. He doesn't seem very loving. Is he like this all the time? Has he ever been emotionally or verbally abusive? Because if he has, you don't need him. Because that wouldn't be a healthy situation for you. You obviously already have a lot on your shoulders. And I am sorry you are going through this.

May I suggest, I think you might have anxiety. I have anxiety and have the same symptoms though a little more severe. Anxiety can affect you at anytime, so I suggest maybe seeing a doctor for some natural way to help it. I don't recommend taking prescriptions at your age. They could be harmful or you could become addicted.

Anyway. I hope things work out for you. If you ever need anything, feel free to PM or email me. ~Kayla.



So dance if it moves you,
and jump in the fire, if it burns you.
I'll throw my arms around you darlin',
and we'll turn to ashes.

Kinda like the way you tell me,
"Baby, please come home. I need you here right now.
I'm crying underwater so you don't hear the sound."


What if I can't forget you?
I'll burn your name into my throat.
I'll be the fire that'll catch you.
What's so good about picking up the pieces?

Last edited by Reign.; August 15th 2012 at 10:48 PM. Reason: Grammatical error.
   
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Re: Relapses and Lies - August 16th 2012, 05:49 PM

Have you tried sitting down with your boyfriend sometime when you're calm and explaining to him about what self injury is and why you do it? Maybe if he understood a little bit more about what it is and why it works as a coping mechanism (even if it's not a very healthy one), he wouldn't automatically jump to calling you those names. A lot of times people get angry or start throwing out words like "crazy" when they don't fully understand the situation. I would also tell him things that he can do for you when you're feeling the urge to SH. He's obviously not doing so good in the supporting area, so you might have to coach him. Whether he just needs to listen, or hold you, or distract you, or give you some space. Just tell him what would be good for you. Try to explain what you're going through. It won't be easy for him to understand, but if he cares about you he'll try.

I agree with Kayla, it sounds like you might be dealing with some anxiety. When you feel like that, just remember to focus on your breathing or find a distraction. Sometimes when I wake up feeling panicky I do some sit ups or push ups or some other exercise to release some of the adrenaline that panic brings on.

Anyway, I hope you're feeling better. If you ever need to talk my PM box is always open. Take care of yourself!

Hannah


Hope is real. Help is real. LOVE is the movement.
   
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