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Self Harm If you or someone you know is struggling with self harm and needs advice or alternatives, we're here to help.

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
Breakaway Offline
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Someone has to know - August 18th 2012, 10:46 PM

Hey. I need help. I've spend a lot of time reading all the different stories here, just thinking that I wasn't half as bad. But tonight I cut myself so it wouldn't stop bleeding, and I don't know what to do anymore. Almost every time I talk to my mother, she makes me want to hurt myself... Not that I don't love her, but it's like she just triggers something in me. Like I'm never good enough. I was bullied for nine years in school and it really did something to me, but she keeps telling me that I should just get over it. I can't tell my parents about this, nobody knows except for me and it really hurts. At work I have to wear big cardigans over my uniform so no one sees my cuts, and at home I do the same thing. It's getting more and more difficult to hide. I want to tell someone really bad, but who can I tell? I've been cutting since the end of june, I quit because of a vacation, but started again as soon as I returned.. I guess I'm just like all other selfharmers
   
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Re: Someone has to know - August 19th 2012, 01:45 AM

Just like all the other SH-ers? Eh, I think we're all different. We all may do the same thing in a sense, but it's for different reasons, different feelings.

Do you want to tell someone in hopes that they'll help you, or to just get it out there? Both are great things to do if that's what you're ready for, but if you want to stop, or you want to really get down to the core of your SH and know the true reasons for not wanting/being able to stop, you have to trust yourself. I feel like the whole SH process is about the person doing it, it revolves around the self and wanting to actually understand it. So before you put it out there, make sure you understand it.. It'll just make it easier on you, in all aspects.

With telling somebody.. If it's your mom you want to tell, you should. Personally, I try to stay away from telling people that trigger me.. For example, my ex (we were together for 5 years) who is still my best friend has always been a trigger to me.. and I told her last year, after struggling for 6 years without telling anyone. And even though she's extremely supportive, even getting support from her triggers me sometimes. It's a tough situation. Tell someone when you're ready, but don't push it unless you really think that what you're doing is life-threatening, or you feel like things are getting completely out of control.

Do you have a close friend that you could tell? A teacher, guidance counselor, someone you look up to?

Or even talking to someone on here about it might help you. I understand it's not the same because nobody here truly knows you, but it's a start, and a lot of us are here to listen. Really, if you need to talk to someone and not through a forum, just ask. Sometimes venting to someone you don't actually know does wonders.


"Although only breath, words which I command are immortal." Sappho

"Sometimes I feel nothing at all. Sometimes I feel everything is my fault.
Sometimes I feel the hate break my mind. Sometimes I feel they deserve it this time.
May the bridges I burn light my way." - I, Alone - Otep

   
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Re: Someone has to know - August 19th 2012, 01:41 PM

I'm really sorry you're going through this right now. I know how awful it feels, and you don't deserve to be in that kind of pain. Make sure you check out the Alternatives to Self Harm thread here. Try a bunch of different methods until something works for you when you're feeling triggered. Also make sure you take care of yourself and your cuts. A lot of it is common sense but there's a thread on first aid info here.

I agree with everything Courtney said about telling someone, and I just wanted to add that for me telling someone was a huge part of being able to get help. I hope you can find the same support and relief.

Things can get better. If you ever just need to talk feel free to PM/VM me.
Hang in there!
Hannah


Hope is real. Help is real. LOVE is the movement.
   
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Re: Someone has to know - August 20th 2012, 09:55 PM

Thank you both - it meant a lot to me seeing that you are so supportive. And I'm sorry, Courtney! I didn't mean to make it sound like all SH'ers are "the same", I just meant that I never really thought of myself as one until it wouldn't stop bleeding.. I hope you understand what I mean (english isn't my native language). I think I'll tell one of my best friends this weekend. I don't want to stop, but I want to want to stop. Does that make sense? I just don't want to feel like this anymore.
   
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Re: Someone has to know - August 20th 2012, 10:03 PM

It does make sense. Self injury is addicting. But if even the smallest part of you wants to stop hold on to that and don't let go. You can beat this. I think it's great that you're thinking about telling your friend. Just try to be calm and realize that he/she may have some questions and may not understand what you're dealing with, but just telling someone can be a huge weight off your shoulders. You shouldn't have to feel this way. Take care of yourself!

Hannah


Hope is real. Help is real. LOVE is the movement.
   
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Re: Someone has to know - August 21st 2012, 01:36 AM

I understood what you meant, I just wanted to clarify a bit. Why didn't you think of yourself as one.. did it just not hit you until that moment? It's good that it hit you now and not later.

It's great that you want to tell your friend. Do it when you're ready, that's my best advice. If you feel the moment, go for it.

Also I understand about not wanting to stop, but wanting to want to stop. I struggled for 6 years before actually wanting to stop. The one person that knew for sure wanted me to stop, and few that knew I wasn't doing so well wanted me to stop being that way.. but sometimes it's not enough. Honestly, the easiest time to stop is when you want to stop, because you'll believe in yourself the most at that point. I'm not trying to convince you to do something you don't want, but think about the negative impact that SH might have on your life. Don't let it go too far.


"Although only breath, words which I command are immortal." Sappho

"Sometimes I feel nothing at all. Sometimes I feel everything is my fault.
Sometimes I feel the hate break my mind. Sometimes I feel they deserve it this time.
May the bridges I burn light my way." - I, Alone - Otep

   
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Re: Someone has to know - August 24th 2012, 04:07 PM

Thank you.. You helped me a lot :-)
   
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