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Self Harm If you or someone you know is struggling with self harm and needs advice or alternatives, we're here to help.

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Astéri Offline
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Not again! - August 27th 2012, 02:07 AM

This thread has been labeled as triggering, particularly on the subject of self harm, by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread might therefore not be suitable for certain sensitive users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

So after a month of being self harm free I relapsed. I feel so stupid!! I was on Tumblr and all these self harm images popped up on my dashboard and it triggered me so much. I didn't have anything to cut with so I just used my fingernails and tried to dig them in as much as possible, harder and harder. I've scratched all up my skin to so my arm is bright red. Gah I feel so pathetic.I was doing so good too!! I managed to fight off an urge last week and I felt so proud but I just fell into temptation. I don't know how I'm going to tell my boyfriend. He was so proud of me last week and he has been extremely helpful and supportive but I feel that I've let him down. Not only him but God. I should of depended on Him and cried out to him like I did last time but I just let it happen. I feel so stupid and attention seeking... I really don't want to go out tomorrow but I have to be up at 7am and it's 2am here. I can't sleep and I feel so guilty and scared at what my boyfriend will think. I just want to sit in my bedroom and lock myself away from the world. I'm thinking of blowing off my friends too. Idk what to do anymore!
   
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Re: Not again! - August 27th 2012, 09:38 PM

Hey there,

First of all, relapses happen to everyone, including myself, and a lot of people here on TH as well. It happens, but you have to learn from it. I know from experience that tumblr can unfortunately be very triggering especially with self harm pictures, is there a way that you can maybe unfollow the ones that trigger you? And if one does pop up, close the window and try to calm down, and try to distract yourself by doing something else, or using an alternative other than self harm. Here's a list of alternatives that might be useful: http://www.teenhelp.org/forums/f12-s...ves-self-harm/ Just try out a few and see if they help, don't get discouraged if they don't all help though, just keep trying!

I think you should tell your boyfriend what happened, I know you said you're scared about how he'll react but from what you've said about him being very supportive, I think he will support you. Tell him what happened and I'm sure that he will be there for you. You didn't let him down, if you quit trying to stop self harm, I think that would be letting him down. Don't get discouraged because you relapsed, learn from it and try your best again next time.

I don't think blowing off your friends would be a good idea, you need support and people there for you. It's hard to get through things when you're alone. You are doing so great, so you messed up, learn from it and try again. You're not pathetic or stupid, you're strong, and brave and you can do this.

I really hope that I helped a bit, feel free to send me a message if you ever need anyone to talk to. Good luck and take care!


"You'll have to decide for yourself. Walk on your own. Move forward. You've got a strong pair of legs, Rose. You should get up and use them."
   
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Re: Not again! - August 30th 2012, 04:22 PM

Hey, I think that Lauren made some really awesome points, but I just wanted to add congrats for getting to one month self harm free. That's so amazing. Self injury is addicting, and recovery isn't as simple as just stopping. Relapses happen. But you made it to one month. Nothing that happens can take that knowledge away from you. That happened. You did that. You can do it again and go even farther next time. It's great that you have your boyfriend and your faith as a support system. Try not to get too down on yourself, you're doing so amazing. You're so much stronger than you realize.
Hang in there,
Hannah


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