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This could be bad.... - August 28th 2012, 06:22 AM

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For the longest time I struggled with cutting. I still do I mean it is a constant battle not to cut. But I cut today. I cut several times and now I can seem to understand why I stopped. It felt so good to cut again. Like I could forget all my problems again. Why did I stop in the first place? Do I really want to stop now?
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Re: This could be bad.... - August 28th 2012, 05:30 PM

Hi there,

First of all, well done for stopping for the time you did! It's incredible that you managed to do that, for any amount of time, and you should be proud of that regardless of how you feel and what you're going through now.

Cutting is a hard thing to stop, as I'm sure you know, but the reason to stop is that, which you may think it helps, it doesn't. It's not a good thing to use to help you deal with your emotions because it simply doesn't. Perhaps it takes your mind off of any emotional pain you have, or perhaps the physical pain is more easy to deal with. Perhaps it's the 'release' you get from cutting that makes you think it helps. Regardless of what it is, if you think about it, it doesn't really help anything. Sure, for the moment you're hurting yourself, it may well do what you've wanted it to, and it may well make you forget what else is going on, but afterwards, you're not only left with the feelings you had that led you to hurt yourself in the first palce, but you're left with the pain, not only of that, but the cuts you've made on yourself too. Then comes the disappointment in yourself which many people get afterwards. And, of course, SH gets worse over time. It may start off with a few scratches, but it's addictive, and with any addiction, soon the small things seem not to be enough. It becomes dangerous. You're left with scars, the cuts get worse. When you think about it, SH doesn;t solve your problems, it leaves you with more to deal with; more pain to suffer. Why should you stop? Because you don't need any more suffering when you clearly have enough going on already.

At some point, you decided that SH wasn't for you any more. That decision had reasons, and while you may not be sure of them now, they were once important. There's another great reason to move away from SH again. At one point it was a good idea. You've relapsed, and these things happen in recovery. It doesn't make you weaker or anything, it just gives you another chance to try again. It takes time to recover, but you can still do it. I'd recommend you take look here at some of the alternatives here on TH. Not cutting is a constant battle, you're right, but having nothing to take your mind off of the urges will only make it worse. Take a look through the list and find ones that help. Not all of them will, but if you keep trying, something is bound to help, so don't be put off by the ones that aren't useful!

I hope this has helped a bit. You don't need SH to survive what you're going through. It's not a good way of coping, and I hope you manage to see that and keep on fighting the urges. IT'll be hard, but I have faith in you and totally believe you can do it. Never give up just because it's tough and you've fallen back into old habits, they just give you somewhere new to start from and a new place to end up. You can do this.

Take care,

❤ Nana ❤

As far as we can discern,
the sole purpose of human existence
is to kindle a light in the darkness of mere being.
- Carl Jung

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Re: This could be bad.... - August 29th 2012, 03:37 AM

Thank you for your inspiring words I'm reall ganna try and not relapse again fingers crossed I follow through and it all works
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