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-   -   She didn't understand at all (http://www.teenhelp.org/forums/f12-self-harm/t108983-she-didnt-understand-all/)

Shanielle September 1st 2012 05:44 PM

She didn't understand at all
 
My mom found out a couple of weeks ago but it was only because someone else said it. She just went off on me and wouldn't even consider the idea of a therapist because she thinks it is a "spiritual" problem. Give me a break! She even got so mad at the suggestion she threatened to throw me out, and so now I'm kind of keeping it low key. She made me promise to not do it again but I broke it as soon as a made it and I don't try because I don't want to stop. She thinks it is something I can get over if I go to church enough and try hard enough but I know it is way more than that.

PurpleMoon September 1st 2012 06:29 PM

Re: She didn't understand at all
 
Hey,
Sorry you mum doesnt understand :hug:

Is there anyone else you can talk to about it? Someone from church or school?
I know what its like to be made to promise not to do it. If you ever need to talk you can PM me anytime :)

cynefin September 1st 2012 06:41 PM

Re: She didn't understand at all
 
I think she made you promise because she didn't know what to do. I've had someone tell me if I kill myself, they will too and it makes me feel even worse. Try to talk to someone else about this. Even if you made a promise, sometimes the demon inside us gets the best of us.

Moyshi September 1st 2012 08:51 PM

Re: She didn't understand at all
 
Hi Shanielle,
I'm sorry to hear that your mom didn't react in a more supportive manner. You know, sometimes when people don't understand something or know how to fix it, they just try to ignore it or pretend that it will go away eventually. I think your mother is worried about you and just doesn't know how to give you the proper support. One thing you could try is printing off information about self harm/showing her a credible website/find a brochure/etc, and ask your mom to read through them. A lot of times you can find information on why people self harm, how they can get help, and how others can support them. This could help your mother find a more realistic way to help you out.

Another user mentioned this a couple of posts above, but is there anyone at your school or church that you can talk to about this? Guidance counsellors in schools are professionals and know how to go about supporting you. It's okay to ask for support...that's what they're there for! If you don't think you can start off approaching someone just yet, I would suggest calling a hotline as they can be helpful as well.

In the meantime, if you haven't already looked through The Alternatives To Self Harm thread I suggest you read through it. Not every suggestion will work for you but you just have to try them out and see if they're a good match for you.

I hope this helped a bit. You deserve to be happy and healthy.
Take care. :]

agirltoremember September 4th 2012 08:21 AM

Re: She didn't understand at all
 
I'm sure your mother just didn't know what to do. Most people don't understand what goes through a person's mind when they SH. SH becomes addictive, You can't just quit an addiction cold turkey. She doesn't understand it. Of course she wants to help you though. Maybe you could talk to her about it. Ask her to be more suportive and explain how you're feeling.

It's hard when someone doesn't understand you. I've told ONE person in my life about my self harming. My boyfriend. He understood why i did it but, he basically made me stop.

If you don't want to quit for yourself there's no way you can recover. You can't recover FOR someone no matter how much they want you to.

Some people don't believe in therapists but, if you think it will help you should tell your mom it's what you want. I'm sure your mom will do anything it takes to help you. She loves and cares about you. Try to tell her what she can do for you. She can't help if you don't tell her how.

charmbraceletxo September 5th 2012 11:55 PM

Re: She didn't understand at all
 
Have you considered consulting a school psychologist?

schmic September 7th 2012 08:34 AM

Re: She didn't understand at all
 
Shanielle,

I'm sorry to hear that she didn't react all to well. I was so scared of reacting the wrong way and possibly making it worse when my daughter told me.

Anyhow, there are many counselors who also have religious affiliations. This could be both good and bad, depending on where you are at in your own faith. Maybe you could ask you mom to find one who would have similar beliefs as you do? It's worth a try, right?


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