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Self Harm If you or someone you know is struggling with self harm and needs advice or alternatives, we're here to help.

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
AnonGirl Offline
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Scars - September 2nd 2012, 04:20 PM

Hey sweet people

I've been self harm free for quite a while and I've been feeling quite better now... But there's something that doesn't let me feel okay about myself: my scars. I'm ashamed of them and I always try to hide them and I'm always afraid people will ask about them.
My parents don't know about my self harm thing, I've never told them because I always thought it will only make things worse and I'd have to explain them everything, which I hate. So I just said I had hurt myself in school and stuff...

I have this huge and reddish scar on the middle of my arm. Kinda looks like a mountain and it's itchy and sometimes hurts... And most important: it's awful and makes me feel bad about myself.
Do you guys have any idea what should I do to make it go away or less noticeble?? Help me, please!


P.S. For all of you who are struggling self Harm: Be strong, and you need to get help. I didn't but I was feeling hopeless and hurting myself for 8 years and now look at me... I feel awful because I took it too far. It will all get better, I promise.


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  (#2 (permalink)) Old
Hominis Offline
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Re: Scars - September 2nd 2012, 04:50 PM

It's a great accomplishment that you've been SH free for so long, let me start by saying that.

Scars are not something to be ashamed of, they tell a story, just as everything does in the world, one way or another, so what I'm going to tell you might require you to do some thinking and soul searching, but think about things this way: You shouldn't be ashamed of your scars because they're not a sign of how weak you are, but how strong. You've been through hell and back, and yet you just keep moving. You've been through the darkness of depression, and though the sadness of it all, and you're still standing. If people ask about them, or what they're from, don't worry. You don't need to justify yourself to anyone. You never need to.

There's really nothing you can do to make it go away, except wear long sleeves all year round, which I don't really advise because it's just not practical, and could and will raise questions, eventually. So either, you have to tell your parents, and tell them that's what it's from, or keep trying to hide it. Sooner or later, they will be seen, because you can't hide everything forever.

Best of luck,
J.


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Re: Scars - September 2nd 2012, 05:07 PM

There are some creams and stuff that are supposed to help make scars less noticeable. I've never used them, personally, so I don't know how effective they are.
I have a lot of scars. I used to hide them all the time and be really self-conscious, but that was exhausting. I got so sick of it. I guess I just got to a place where I was so tired of hiding all the time so I just started wearing short sleeves and making myself go out like that. It was uncomfortable, but I'm so glad I did. Honestly, a lot of people aren't going to notice and if they do they probably won't ask. That's been my experience.
I'm not ashamed of my scars. I'm proud of them. Not because I cut, I wish I had never gone through that. It's so hard. But I'm proud of them because scars mean I survived. I healed. You are so strong. I think you just have to do some soul searching and come to terms with who you are and where you've been. It's not easy, but you deserve to feel comfortable in your own skin. Congrats on being SH free for a while! You're amazing.
Take care,
Hannah


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Re: Scars - September 4th 2012, 11:16 PM

Congratulations on being in recovery! It takes a lot of strength to stop self harming and making the first step is the hardest!

There isn't really anything that can get rid of scars, but what I use to help smooth my old scars out is cocoa butter! The purer the better, but an affordable option is Palmers Cocoa Butter. It comes in a round tub and it's not pure cocoa butter, but it works and it's only about $4.

Something I learned after having surgery was that an important part of healing cuts/scars is to massage it. If you have a deep cut, massaging it for a few minutes a few times a day prevents scar tissue from clinging onto your muscle below. If scar tissue does latch onto the muscle, it can cause tightness and pain in the muscle, as well as a more raised keloid scar.

Summary: Massage it a lot in all directions and massage cocoa butter into it! It helps with the color a little, but mostly on smoothing it out.

Keep up the good work and stay strong! :)


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Re: Scars - September 5th 2012, 12:57 AM

Hi there.

So, I've posted this quote on a thread like this before. But I hope it helps you.

Quote:
“On the girl's brown legs there were many small white scars. I was thinking, Do those scars cover the whole of you, like the stars and the moons on your dress? I thought that would be pretty too, and I ask you right here please to agree with me that a scar is never ugly. That is what the scar makers want us to think. But you and I, we must make an agreement to defy them. We must see all scars as beauty. Okay? This will be our secret. Because take it from me, a scar does not form on the dying. A scar means, I survived.”
― Chris Cleave
Your scars do not define your nor do they make you less of a person. You're still you and you don't need to hide who you are because like I said, scars and self harm have not changed you. Its simply been a way that you learnt cope with difficult things, feelings and thoughts and there is no shame in that. You're still beautiful. And I hope, you manage to see that and that you can go out and wear short sleeves and be proud of yourself for fighting through the hard time you've had, because you know what? You beat it, YOU beat it. YOU survived and thats incredible.

On the other hand, I understand if those words make no difference, even though I hope they do. And there are treatments you can have to reduce scaring such as Bio-Oil, palmers cream and so on. There is even medical treatment such as skin graphs you might be able to have depending on how bad the scaring is.

I hope you're doing well and I hope you're proud of YOU.
Jessie


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Re: Scars - September 5th 2012, 01:15 AM

Congratulations for being self harm free for that long
I have to say use lavender or eucalyptus, rubbing it over the scar, also bio oil


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