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xxprincessxx Offline
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not ready to get help.... - September 4th 2012, 04:29 AM

i've come to the conclusion that i'm just not ready to give up cutting yet and i do realize that it has to be my decision to do so....i also do realize that i am addicted and someday i'm going to have to face up to my problems and work through them, but if I'm not ready, I'm not sure now is the proper time....

quite frankly, i don't care who know's that i cut or not, i have a few on my wrist as of now and i've been wearing short sleeves, without even attempting to hide them. (at one end i really really don't want anybody to notice, but at the same time i'm almost desperate for somebody to ask, and i'm still trying to figure out how that is possible.)

I also haven't been talking to anybody when I get the urges anymore either. Just because my friend that I used to talk to basically told me how it doesn't make him comfortable and he feels like he can't help me with that part of my life. And everybody else is just kind of "meh." For some reason that hasn't been bothering me either....I get urges, give in, don't feel bad....

I honestly don't know what's going on and I have no idea why this doesn't bother me anymore and why I'm not caring to reach out...it's obviously on my mind a little....and I feel like I'm unconsciously reaching out for help but not hiding the cuts, but nobody is noticing or if they do not saying anything. And there are certain friends/professors that I try to "make" notice, but I'm failing....I also cant place why I would be trying to show them...

Any advice?

all i want is a place to call my own and
mend the hearts of everyone who feels alone,
you know to keep your hopes up high and your head down low.

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Re: not ready to get help.... - September 4th 2012, 05:03 AM

Well, nobody can really tell you to give up cutting so I know my message probably won't have any credability but obviously you are seeking out someone that you want/need to talk to about your cutting issues. I also can guess how you must feel if people see but don't ask if you okay sort of thing. It's okay to want to talk, but I am pretty sure soon you'll want to be rid of the scars and don't want to do it anymore. I would go to a friend, preferably not family until your comfortable talking about it and tell your friend what has been bothering you and what drives you to cut.

Hope all ends well,

Buddy since 18/11/12 LiveHelp Operator since 22/12/12 Add me on Facebook Jay Louise Shorrock!
A whisper in the dark; is better than silence in the light. -Courtesy of your's truly.
My blog is open to all, those whom are easily triggered avoid, it's a story about a girl and her life and how far she has come over the years. If you read it, I hope it inspires you to keep fighting and to NEVER give up!

When you can no longer think of a reason to continue, you must think of a reason to start over.
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Re: not ready to get help.... - September 6th 2012, 03:26 AM

I do this too so I know what you mean. Umm... You can talk to us on here about it, you can PM/VM me if you need me too. If you're close enough to your family members and trust them, I'd tell one of them and talk to them about how you're feeling. Any outlet besides cutting. Do you think that maybe you're possibly trying to get someone to notice the cuts because you're depressed and you just want someone to help? No judging or jumping to assumptions here, just an idea.

I know that you can only stop when you're ready, but you should still take a look at this list. It might help. Alternatives to Self-Harm.

Good luck and I'm here if you need someone to talk to!
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