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Self Harm If you or someone you know is struggling with self harm and needs advice or alternatives, we're here to help.

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MHCole Offline
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its just getting worse. - September 8th 2012, 05:48 AM

my problem, is i went from fear of cutting, to burning, to full on slicing my skin. I dont even care about the pain anymore, its does not exsist. My worry is not cutting, but how the urge is not staying the same but getting stronger. I am a 16 yr old girl, with a history of depression, so when people ask about my scars i know they assume i cut. sometimes i think i want them to know, but when they ask, (especially my mom) I freeze up and lie in hopes she wont know i did it. i dont want to stop, cant stop, and started carrying razors at school to cut during the day. i dont know what to do.
   
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Re: its just getting worse. - September 8th 2012, 06:51 PM

Hi there.

I want to say how well you have done to come to us today and tell us about what's going on for you. I know reaching out to people and telling them what's on your mind and so on can be really hard but you've done really well to do so.

Honestly? If you don't want to stop, then you won't stop. Its that simple. You have to want to make this stop to even get anywhere. However, I don't believe you when you say you don't want to stop because I think that if that were the truth, you wouldn't be here asking us for help, do you?

You say you can't stop self harming, but you can. You're just choosing to carry on hurting yourself. I'm not say you choose the urges you have or the emotions you feel but you do choose what you do about them. Ultimately, you're the person who picks up the object and you're the one who inflicts pain upon yourself. And at the end of the day, the only person who can stop you from self harming, is yourself.

To get out of this, you have to help yourself. And, I have been there, at times, I know and understand this can be hard because the urges can get overwhelming and like you said, they can get worse. But the only way you're going to beat this, is to stop and to get help with what is causing you to feel this way. This time last year the urges I felt were the worse they had ever been and I was put into a psychiatric unit for four months for severe self harm. At the time, I was needing medical help every day and I know see, how much control I have over my own actions. I don't try to be harsh when I tell you you have to change, but it is the truth. You have to be the change you want to see in the world. You need to challenge your thoughts and emotions and start changing your behaviour. This means challenging the urges too, using distractions, talking about what's going on, writing things down and stopping doing things such as taking blades into school because the things like that which you decide to do, are going to get you no where but could make this all a lot worse.

Now, you don't have to do this on your own. People can help and support you through this but you have to let them in and let them know what is going on in order for them to be able to help you in a way which you will benefit from. Who can you talk too? Your parents, family, friends, a teacher, school nurse/counsellor or even a doctor. All these people love and care about you and want to help you and its okay for you to let them in. You can work with these people to help you through this. But it is going to be hard work and sometimes the things you talk to them about is going to be painful and cause unpleasent feelings but sometimes we have to face things in order to find ways to cope and deal with them.

I know this is hard for you but I also know you're capable of beating this. Don't be on your own. You have so many people who love and care for you, including us.

Keep smiling,
Jessie


"Only in the dark, can you see the stars..."
Josie 12/3/2014, always in my heart. Sue 19/2/2016; Peter, Ellie, Hannah, Andy, Kirtsie RIP.

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