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Self Harm If you or someone you know is struggling with self harm and needs advice or alternatives, we're here to help.

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Spikey Offline
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Breathe... it's just a bit of fruit. - September 20th 2012, 04:45 PM

I started self-harming nearly 2 years ago and the last time I SH'd was the 7th - but I'd made it about 5 months SH free before hand - I think.

So today at placement (I spend three days a week in a pre-school with toddlers) they asked me to cut up fruit, but there was fruit in the classroom, so I just had to get a knife and plate and bring it to the classroom, which I did. I then told the teacher that I didn't know how to cut up fruit (yeah, I know, I don't really eat fruit) and she told me how to and demonstrated it and I took over and finished cutting up the one pear I had to.

I used a bread knife and was really nervous about being so close to it - which sounds stupid, I cut up bagels and things with a knife - and I was shaking for about 10 minutes after it too, but not too noticably, just kind of sitting there like 'Don't freak out. Don't freak out. Don't freak out.'

I think it was because I was standing there cutting through this apple with a knife. And I didn't like the knife.

How am I supposed to explain this to my placement? I can't say I have a fear of knives - I did cut up a pear - and I don't want to tell them the whole story - I haven't gotten to that sort of stage yet.

I don't know what to do. I don't want to cut up fruit again.

Any advice would be appreciated.


And she turns up the music, to drown out her life.

22/12/2014 was the last date I self-harmed. The longest I have gone so far is 1 year, 2 months and 5 days. This time, I hope I can give up! New record: 1 year 6 months! Yay!!
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Pyromania Offline
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Re: Breathe... it's just a bit of fruit. - September 20th 2012, 11:38 PM

It's fantastic that you've made it five months without self harming. Do you really want a piece of shitty fruit to break that streak?
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Riddikulus Offline
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Re: Breathe... it's just a bit of fruit. - September 23rd 2012, 01:05 PM

Hey there,

I'm really sorry that you are going through this, it must be hard.
First of all 5 months is fantastic, well done! It's understandable that you found it hard to cut up the fruit, but when you look back at it you did it. There are always going to be times in life when we have to do things like this but I know you can get through it, sometimes you have to work through it. As the user above said, you don't want to break your streak cutting up some fruit, when you're doing it just forget about the knife, trying concentrating on the fruit or think about something else.
If it really is bothering you then talk to the person in charge, you don't have to explain the whole story but perhaps say it's not something you want to go into but you really struggle with this.

I hope this helps,

'Never do anything that you wouldn't want to explain to the paramedics'

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RIP Peter <3
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