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Self Harm If you or someone you know is struggling with self harm and needs advice or alternatives, we're here to help.

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
Spikey Offline
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Name: Molly
Age: 24
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I'm slipping back. - September 26th 2012, 12:27 PM

I've SH'd twice this week, three times this month - when before I went 5 months free.

I can feel my thoughts slipping back to the way they used to.

I spend most of my time, resisting the urge to self-harm - the main way I stop myself from doing it is being around people - like my boyfriend or best friend, but I can't be around them all the time.

I don't want to keep walking down this road, I know it only leads to worse things and I don't know what to do.

I want to spend some time under my duvet, just laying there. But I don't know whether this'll make me worse or not.

I don't know what to do.

I don't even know why I started self-harming again.

Sorry if this is all jumbled and confusing.

RosieJ


And she turns up the music, to drown out her life.

22/12/2014 was the last date I self-harmed. The longest I have gone so far is 1 year, 2 months and 5 days. This time, I hope I can give up! New record: 1 year 6 months! Yay!!
Previously:
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  (#2 (permalink)) Old
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Re: I'm slipping back. - September 26th 2012, 01:45 PM

Hey Molly,

First of all, 5 months free is absolutely amazing! Congratulations. Honestly, you slipped up, yeah, but that doesn't make those 5 months mean nothing. They're an achievement and right now you're focusing far too much on the fact that you've 'ruined' it, for want of a better word, that you're forgetting just how far you've actually come to have gotten that far in the first place.

The fact is that overcoming self harm is a recovery process. A process takes time, it's not instant or over night, and you will slip back into old habits sometimes. SH is something you became dependent on, so it's not surprising that you're battling the urges all of the time, and it's not surprising that you've slipped up. Relapse happens, it doesn't make it impossible to overcome, it just means that you still have a bit of a way to go before you're fully recovered yet. But that's what's to be expected, so don't be so hard on yourself for this, it's not the end, instead this is just the beginning again; another chance for you to try and overcome this and get further than you did before.

Since you can't be around people 24/7, perhaps you could look for some alternative ways to cope with the urges. Maybe when you get them you can pop onto TH for a bit and into the chat room so you have someone to talk to there. Perhaps you could write down how you feel instead of actually taking it out on yourself, or if you prefer, draw a picture. Maybe you could go for a walk and get some fresh air, exercise for a bit. Finding an alternative to SH is difficult but it's not impossible. It's hard, but if you keep looking and trying things, you'll find other things that work for you which you can use when you need to.

Last of all, the bit of advice that gets me through the urges sometimes is that YOU ARE IN CONTROL. The urges are harsh sometimes, but they don't control you. You can say no. It might be tough, but if you remove yourself from proximity of temptation and keep your hands occupied and your mind set on the fact you control it, you can do this. It's hard, but it's possible, and you can get through this.

Take care,
Hollie.


❤ Nana ❤
1953-2016

As far as we can discern,
the sole purpose of human existence
is to kindle a light in the darkness of mere being.
- Carl Jung

   
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Palmolive Offline
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Re: I'm slipping back. - September 26th 2012, 06:38 PM

Hi RosieJ,


Firstly, going five months self harm free is absolutely amazing and that's something you should be proud of yourself for. It takes a of al of strength to beat the urges but you did it, and you did it for five whole months and that's honestly incredible. Listen to what Hollie as said. Recovery is a process and a process takes time. You may have self harmed this month but relapse is normal, but its important that you don't let it drag you back but that you use it to move forward, start over and start beating self harm again. You might relapse again in the future, but you will get there. Can I ask whether anything happened a month or so ago which could have triggered the urges to self harm again?

When you say you can feel your thoughts slipping back to the way they used to be, can I ask what these thoughts are? I know it might be hard talking about the thoughts if they are unpleasent, but sometimes talking about them can mean two people can work together to help you manage those thoughts and to overcome them. If you tell us about the thoughts, we can try to help you to understand them and manage them so you can cope with them and overcome them. Does that make sense?

The fact that you are resisting the urge to self harm is such a positive thing. You're trying to beat this and that's great and it's also brilliant that you realise something that helps you is to be around other people. When you can do so, do so. But it will be good for you to find a few other alternatives that help you as as well so that when you can't be around others, you have something else in place. Take a look at the list of alternatives and try them. Not everything is going to help so it's important that you keep trying new things. It's all about trial and error.

Staying in bed and isolating yourself probably won't help and therefore I advise against it. I think even though its hard when we feel so low, getting out and meeting friends can really help us. At first we can feel anxious and uncertain about it but once you get with your friends, I'm sure it will be fine.

Like Hollie said to you, you are the one in control of your actions. Everyone in the world can be there for you and support you through this, but the person who can help you the most is yourself. The only person in this world who can stop you from you hurting yourself, is yourself. And yes its going to be hard, but it is possible.

Hang on in there. You can do this.
Jessie


"Only in the dark, can you see the stars..."
Josie 12/3/2014, always in my heart. Sue 19/2/2016; Peter, Ellie, Hannah, Andy, Kirtsie RIP.

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