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Self Harm If you or someone you know is struggling with self harm and needs advice or alternatives, we're here to help.

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HELP!!! - October 3rd 2012, 03:17 PM

This thread has been labeled as triggering, particularly on the subject of self harm, by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread might therefore not be suitable for certain sensitive users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

I'm in a really tough situation and it's making me so frustrated, and I've asked for help on here and keep getting the same answer and it isn't working out for me. I am this close to starting my self harm habits again and really need some help. I don't want a bunch of bull shit like "Your trying to get better that's the first step". If it was the first step why the hell am I still always like this off and on.

I have parents who are super judgmental and don't approve of same sex attraction yet that's what I feel. Plus the person I feel it toward is in a relationship, we have kissed a few times before she was no longer single and she is always on my mind. I can never erase her no matter how much I want to, I thought I was getting better but it hit my as if someone hit me with a baseball bat and now I'm all screwed up again. I don't know what to do, I don't label myself because she is the only girl I feel romantic feelings for and everything is just so messed up.

I'm super stressed with school and homework, my parents don't know the real me so therefore no body else can, and I'm in love with a girl who is in love with someone else but has told me she feels something for me. HELP!!!!!
   
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Re: HELP!!! - October 3rd 2012, 05:22 PM

Ok, so I am going to give you something different since you don’t want the standard answer.

I think to be able to overcome your self harm you need to fix the relationship with your parents. The fact that you are hiding your “more than just friends” relationship with this girl is going to cause you great stress and anxiety which are both huge triggers. You need to let them know that you are feeling these things because hiding them is hurting you too much. I know that you say that won’t approve but you don’t know that until you tell them. And you don’t have to label yourself, but you should be open and honest with them. Let them know that you have been having feelings of attraction to your friend and that you are so worried that they won’t approve. Do they know that you self harm? Getting that off your chest will also relieve some stress. Let them know you have been so upset and so worried that you have resorted to self harm.

If you feel you can’t tell them this to their face, and I don’t blame you if you feel that way, you can always write them a letter and leave it some where for them to read when you are not around.

Dealing with self harm can be a lot more than just using alternatives. And I think in this case you need to heal the relationship with your parents first before you attempt to heal your addiction.




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Re: HELP!!! - October 3rd 2012, 05:55 PM

My sister told them that she was bisexual a couple weeks after she moved out, my parents confronted me soon after to double check I wasn't "screwed up" like she is. They told her that she wasn't allowed to come back and didn't speak to her for about 3 months, nor was I allowed to see her. In by telling my parents I would just be setting myself up for a miserable life. I know I need to tell them though, and no they do not know that I self harm myself. Thank for the advice but I feel like it wont really work for my situation.
   
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Re: HELP!!! - October 3rd 2012, 08:48 PM

Hey! Don't beat yourself up too much ok? I used to cut too. One thing that would help me is that I would write the name o the person I like/love on the area that I want to cut. Use a sharpie and if you really need to press hard with the sharpie while you do this.

Hope it works out (: pm me if you ever need advice with anything ^-^
   
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Re: HELP!!! - October 3rd 2012, 11:11 PM

Thanks but I think that would be weird for my parents to see a girls name on my arm haha, they would think that I like/love her. Which I do but they can't know that because then I would be shunned and grounded until 18, then after I'm 18 kicked out of the house.
   
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