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Self Harm If you or someone you know is struggling with self harm and needs advice or alternatives, we're here to help.

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Becca22 Offline
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Name: Rebecca
Age: 20
Gender: Female
Location: England

Posts: 30
Join Date: April 29th 2012

Unhappy started again... - October 9th 2012, 07:23 PM

i self harmed quite a few times before but then tried to stop... i succeeded for a few months.
the other day i thought i found out that my dad had thrown away my scalpel that i had been using to self harm with.
i freaked out, i dont know what was wrong with me... luckily my parents were out and i went through the draws frantically trying to find something to self harm with.
in the end i found a blade and self harmed on my arms, thigh and stomach...

i dont know how to stop...

Love the life you live...live the life you love
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Palmolive Offline
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Jeez, get a life!
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Re: started again... - October 9th 2012, 07:52 PM

Hey Becca,

You say you went a few months without hurting yourself and I want to tell you how amazing it is that you did so. Sometimes just getting through an hour with out self harm can feel impossible, so for you to go months is really amazing and is defiantly something you should be proud of yourself for.

You say you don't know how to stop. Can you recall what happened around the time when you stopped self harming before the few months of being self harm free? Was there anything you did that helped you cope in a better and healthier way? It might be worth to have a think about it to see if anything did happen which helped you beat the urges.

In the short-term I think it's all about the distractions and alternatives. You can find a list of alternatives to self harm in this forum and I want to encourage you to take a look at them. They can really help us get through the moment when we do have an urge to hurt ourselves. Not everything is going to help you so it might be a case of trying several different things first. Its really important that you don't give up trying new and different things when something doesn't work for you, you know? Because there will be ones which help you, it's just about finding them.

Have you ever thought about making a 'first aid box' AKA happy box? I have one and this used to really help me and still does sometimes. You get a box and you can decorate it (if you want too) with things that make you happy or cheer you up so it could be photos, quotes and so on. And then you put things which make you happy and cheer you up inside so that when you feel low or have urges to hurt yourself, you can go use these things. For example, in my box I have a ton of letters, cards, two little cuddly toys from when I was about nine, nail varnish, two happy books, worry dolls, lemon balm, a stress ball and glow bands. Maybe this is something you could try? You could try the glow bands too. When I was in hospital for self harm, myself and another girl came up with this. When you have urges, snap a glow band. These tend to last around 8-12 hours and while its glowing, you're not allowed to hurt yourself. You could try that too?

In the long term, I think you need to learn and understand what's causing these urges to self harm and work through them. Do you have any idea why you're being triggered to self harm again? If not, then I think it'll be a good idea to think hard about it. If you do know why and you want to talk to us about anything, know that you're more than welcome to. We'll try our best to support you through what ever it is you're going through. I think that underlying problem needs to be resolved though. And maybe you have thought about getting professional help? You might not need that kind of help and it's not my place to say you do or don't, but it's just an idea. You can always talk to your family, a teacher, school nurse/counsellor or your doctor. You're doctor can always talk about you starting to see a mental health professional too. Just remember that all these people care and want to help you. You don't have to be alone in this.

Remember you're in control. People can help you and support you through this but you're in control of your own actions and the only person in this world who can stop you from hurting yourself, is in fact, yourself. I know that thats hard and that beating the urges is overwhelming but you can do it. Keep on fighting. Stay determined and work hard and you'll get there. Believe in yourself.

Keep smiling,

"Only in the dark, can you see the stars..."
Josie 12/3/2014, always in my heart. Sue 19/2/2016; Peter, Ellie, Hannah, Andy, Kirtsie RIP.

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