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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
Spoons Offline
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I find the cuts pretty... - March 20th 2013, 10:50 AM

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Hey guys!

Just two easyish questions for you.

One, I've found that I really like the way it looks to bleed or the way those cuts look on my skin. While I do have reasons to cut and do cut for those reasons, other times I'll cut for no reason just to see the blood. Not my arms or anything mind you, mainly my hips. I don't feel bad about doing it after until I tell my therapist and don't have a good reason for it. Is it normal at all for someone who cuts to do it sometimes just to see the blood?

I've also found I'll take pictures of the cuts. Not to show anyone or anything, but just to look at later. They're my own personal thing except they're on my phone and my friend saw the password so she knows, but she already knows about my SH anyway. Do others do this? I don't want to feel really dumb for taking pictures of it.

Are these attention seeking?

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Re: I find the cuts pretty... - March 20th 2013, 11:46 AM

Well , I kind of felt like this before, I can relate and feel it is totally normal for someone that self harm ( Note i am not trying to encourage self harm , but im just mentioning I have done it before so it wouldnt really be any different )
I sometimes used to do the same thing and sometimes cut just to see the blood and i liked how it looked on my arms and legs.
Do you seem to see beuty or passion of it ? ( I am a artist so that explains much for me :l )
But like you I also had my reason. But watever i would encourage you a better way to express the beuty of it . I replaced cutting by drawing the cuts down on paper that i wished to have in my journal writings. Since you probably think their pretty , try to draw them or express them some other way
Take care, Pm me if you need
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Re: I find the cuts pretty... - March 20th 2013, 11:53 AM

Hey Dez,

I don't really consider myself a self-harmer anymore, so sorry if my opinion appears less valid... When I used to cut, I think I probably did it for attention purposes but only one person ever ended up seeing it so yeah, I never quite knew why I was cutting. I don't think I cut to see the blood, but I did find something soothing about the way it... oozed... Anyway, I did exactly the same thing by taking photos of it without showing anyone. I think I did this to remind myself that even when the scars faded, this was real and my pain was real because maybe I was afraid that I would forget that. Actually I think the main reason I cut and took photos was so that somehow i had proof that there was something wrong with me, because, shamefully, I used to actually glorify the idea of being 'different' even though I now realise that being a self-harmer doesn't actually individualise you but stereotypes you... I can't judge whether or not your actions are attention seeking because... Well I'm not you... And I don't know you outside of teenhelp. Well that's my opinion anyway...

I could dwell on my problems... But I'd rather make a milkshake...
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Re: I find the cuts pretty... - March 20th 2013, 12:46 PM

Hey, Dez.

I know what you mean. While I did Self-Harm for painful reasons when I was upset, the scars or cuts are pretty in a way to me. It could possibly be because the emotions we feel, we can see them now? And it's like showing how you feel, only doing it physically. If that makes any sense? I think in some ways, it's not really what you'd call just doing it for attention, but like a cry for help... In hopes that maybe someone will notice and try to help you?

I don't take pictures of it but I don't think you're dumb for feeling this way or taking pictures.

Stay Strong <3
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Re: I find the cuts pretty... - March 20th 2013, 02:50 PM

Okay, hi Dez. I can sooooo sooo soooooooo relate to this.

First of all, I am trying my best to stop SH'ing, but I find that the longer I go, the less visible I feel. To everyone, even myself. I do find mine pretty, and when they fade, I miss them.
As for the picture thing, I do that too. I thought I was the only one....
my camera was taken away from me because my parents found it.

I'm not sure if its considered normal, but I can say that you aren't the only one.
Talk to this friend, just at all, make sure she knows that this is serious, and I'm sure she's there for you. Reach out to her though, because she cares, as well as many people.
We all care too

Stay Strong
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Re: I find the cuts pretty... - March 20th 2013, 06:43 PM

I don't think it's attention seeking, more like a cry for help. Personally I've taken pictures before, not to show people, but to look at myself later. I've always found it pretty too. It's also like it was reassuring somehow... I don't even know how to explain. So I guess it's kind of normal, or common to feel that way.

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Re: I find the cuts pretty... - March 20th 2013, 07:31 PM

I'm the exact same, Dez. I'm obsessed with my own blood and have gotten into trouble in the past when I accidentally cut my finger and was too busy staring at it to do anything.
It's not attention seeking. You're not taking the photos and posting them online like "Hey, look what I did!" and showing everyone. It's just your own private documentation of what you go through, and there's nothing wrong with that. Some people will write a diary to describe it all out and read over later, you take photos. Just make sure you take care of yourself though, yes?

Throw those curtains wide
One day like this a year would see me right

We are the rainbow
Or click here for some grovelling.
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Re: I find the cuts pretty... - March 20th 2013, 08:06 PM

Hiya, Dez

I find myself partaking in behaviours similar to those you described above. I ALWAYS look at the cuts on my arm. I'm obsessed with the scars. Sometimes, when there's no-one else around, I keep my sleeves rolled up so I can see them. I also love seeing the blood when I cut. So, you're definitely not alone in that.

Personally, I don't take photos of my own scars, but I like looking at pictures of other people's cuts via the Internet. Sometimes I even compare my own scars to those. Like I said above, I'm obsessed.

I don't think there's anything seriously wrong with anything you said you did, it doesn't sound like you're attention-seeking at all. Take care.
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Re: I find the cuts pretty... - March 21st 2013, 02:47 AM

Oh yes, same as Gareth. I've looked at pictures of scars and cuts before online as well.
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Re: I find the cuts pretty... - March 21st 2013, 02:48 AM

Oh yes, same as Gareth. I've looked at pictures of scars and cuts before online as well.
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