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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
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Name: Kayla
Gender: Female
Location: Minnesota

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Join Date: February 8th 2013

i keep replaying things - July 1st 2013, 06:20 AM

I keep replaying the first day i cut almost every cut after that. I keep replaying the day i told my mom my friends were with me and i couldnt even look my mom or anyone in the eye i still cant i remember how shocked and upset i made her. I keep replaying the day my dad asked me about it i have never seen him cry until then. I keep replaying the day my great grandfather died. i cant replay any good things though and if i do they are short snips of what happend. i keep think are my parents going to find me bleeding out or dead one day and that thought scares me but the cutting is just such a relief i dont think i can give it up. i have dreams about cutting and i wakeup wishing they actually happened i keep going back to the days i cut and i dont know how to stop them or how to deal with them i feel as if im going to break and hit rock bottom again...help


sometimes you gotta fall before you fly.
I believe that we all fall down sometimes
   
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Re: i keep replaying things - July 1st 2013, 03:43 PM

Hey there, Kayla!

I'm sorry to hear you're feeling so bad at the moment. I do find that bad memories have a tendency to replay in my head, a lot of them relating to my self-harming. It can be quite unpleasant, and I have no way of controlling the replays either.

It sounds like you're going through a real rough patch right now, so it might be helpful to talk to someone, if possible. You could tell your mother or your father that things are kinda tough for you at the moment. If you're getting professional help, it could be a good idea to talk to whoever you're seeing, especially in relation to the dreams and flashbacks, as it can be quite scary to go through, especially on your own.

I hope things get better soon! Feel free to PM/VM me if you need someone to talk to. Take care.

~ Gareth
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