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~Madam~ Offline
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Name: Ellie
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Unhappy I want to, again. - July 6th 2013, 06:36 AM

So, it's two months today that I've been clean. You'd think I'd feel somewhat accomplished, but I don't. I've been getting really bad lately, and I really want to cut myself. But I know I'd feel even more worthless if I broke this two months. But I just have been feeling really down, and I'm trying so hard not to even look at my blades, because I know I'd give in I just don't know what to do anymore.

Just a few of my favorite Marilyn Monroe quotes

"Everybody is always tugging at you. They'd all like a sort of chunck out of you. I don't think they realize it, but it's like 'grrr do this, grr do that...' But you do want to stay intact and on two feet."
"I was never used to being happy, so that wasn't something I took for granted. You see, I was brought up differently from the average American child because the average American child is brought up expecting to be happy."
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Thereishope Offline
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Re: I want to, again. - July 6th 2013, 06:50 AM

Hey there Ellie!

Hey good job on 2 months, that is quite the accomplishment! I know what you mean about it still being hard even after all that time. Try to keep yourself busy when you have the urges, look at the Alternatives sticky at the top of the SH forum. Stay strong, you can do it!

Last edited by Thereishope; July 6th 2013 at 06:53 AM. Reason: Fixing spelling.
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Re: I want to, again. - July 6th 2013, 09:01 AM

Hey there,

Firstly, you should be really proud of yourself for going so long without self harm that is a major accomplishment. I think you should definitely give yourself a pat on the back for that. I think it is important to remember that these urges will pass. Sometimes when a person is really struggling with self harm they cannot see past the urges but if you can remind yourself that the urge will past it can help.

Do you know what might be causing you to feel the urges? If you can work on identifying the triggers you can work on trying to resolve them. I have found that keeping a journal helped me in identifying what my triggers are.

Have you ever considered throwing away your blades? That is a big step to take but that can be really helpful. If you feel ready it might be a good step for you to take because you will no longer have access to the tools you use to harm yourself.

Lastly I think it would be great for you to check out the Alternatives to Self Harm when you are having an urge and see if some of the things on that list help you.

I hope this helped and if you need anything please feel free to message me.

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