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Self Harm If you or someone you know is struggling with self harm and needs advice or alternatives, we're here to help.

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Meggi Offline
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Just got so weak.. - July 13th 2013, 01:16 PM

I started cutting again. I started in my leg.. And the went onto my arm. Now I feel like I can't stop. I did it this morning and I'm suppose to be going to a BBQ and going swimming in a pool. I'm afraid that my mum will get suspicious that ill say I don't want to go on time pool because she knows I love swimming. I dunno what I'm gonna do, but I need to stop doing this!
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Re: Just got so weak.. - July 13th 2013, 03:59 PM

Hi there.

I think it's really important that you realise that you need to stop self harming. I see that as a really positive first step. And you have to want to stop doing it too. Recovery from self harm is never easy for anyone and it's a process - it takes time and it's going to be hard at moments and it's so important that you know that but that you also know beating self harm and overcoming it is possible and that if you want to beat it, then you can do.

Can I ask you if you are aware of any triggers to your self harm? People often self harm because they're going through a stressful time, they feel low or they've experienced something traumatic in their past etc. I don't know if you can relate to any of this, but if you can then I want you to know that we're here for you and we'll always be willing to listen to you. We're not going to judge you either okay? A lot of us here come for support to, for things that we've been through so we like to support others who we think we can help as well. I'm also wondering what you feel you gain from self harm? Some people like the blood or the pain or feel its a self punishment. I know that I always feel that the physical pain I feel when self harming stops the emotional pain I'm feeling for several minutes which is why I self harm. But everyone self harms for different reasons. Maybe you could have a think about it?

I know it's really hard to believe but self harming doesn't help us in the long run. If self harm was a technique that really helped people, then we'd be able to do it once or twice and we'd never have to do it again because it would've helped us, you know? But it's not that easy and I think you know that. We keep going back to it which proves it doesn't really help us. However, it really can make things a lot worse in the long run and we really don't want things to get any worse for you, we want them to get better, don't we?

Take a look at this list of alternatives to self harm: http://www.teenhelp.org/forums/f12-s...ves-self-harm/. This might all be a little bit of trial and error for you because not all of the things on that list is going to help you feel better and help with the urges you feel. But there will be ones which do so you have to keep trying and it's so important that you don't give up on everything, when one thing doesn't work for you, okay? So keep at it and don't be afraid to keep trying again and again and again. There will be things which help you, it's just about you finding them.

If you feel you need to talk to someone too, then talk to someone. For one, we're always here but I know that sometimes it's good to have someone at home so you can talk to them face to face so people like your friends and family or even a teacher or school nurse can all be lovely and wonderful people to go to for some help and advice. They all love and care about you, alright? They can help you but only you decide to be open, get the help and tell them what's really going on for you right now because if you don't then they won't know and won't be able to help - they aren't mind readers!

Just stay strong and keep fighting. I know it's difficult for you now but you have the strength inside of you to beat this so stay determined and focused and work hard and you will get there. You deserve so much more than the pain you're putting yourself through.

Make sure you look after yourself,

"Only in the dark, can you see the stars..."
Josie 12/3/2014, always in my heart. Sue 19/2/2016; Peter, Ellie, Hannah, Andy, Kirtsie RIP.

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