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Self Harm If you or someone you know is struggling with self harm and needs advice or alternatives, we're here to help.

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Unhappy My mind is screaming for more. - August 2nd 2013, 01:38 AM

This thread has been labeled as triggering, particularly on the subject of self harm, by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread might therefore not be suitable for certain sensitive users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

The first time I ever self harmed was in fourth grade. Since then it's been off and on again with me cutting. I started back up in sixth grade, and then stopped.
I think it was April of this year I started cutting again.. I could go weeks without doing it, and sometimes I can only go a few days. Lately, it's become very addictive. I never thought I would get to this point, but I have. Yesterday, I felt really, really sad for no reason at all. I brushed it aside because I usually have mood swings, but this one was really bad. I had cut the day before, which I think contributed to me being so sad.
Like I said, I was really sad and I decided to get my razors out. I went into the bathroom, and just stared at them. I then cried because my mind kept screaming at me to grab one and dig it into my skin. But, I didn't listen and left the bathroom. This happened, maybe 20 times or more as to if I should cut or not . I think my mind has become addicted to this, and it's really scary.
I woke up this morning and the first thing I think about is cutting. I haven't done it since yesterday, and my head keeps screaming for more. I really really hate this,and I know I'll get to the point where I can't take much more. I've thought of throwing my razors away, but I know I'll find more and start doing it again. I'm tired of this never ending cycle and it feels as if I let anyone know what's happening to me, they'll think I'm some freak. I'm just really, really tired of everything...
   
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Re: My mind is screaming for more. - August 2nd 2013, 07:46 AM

You may want to tell someone. Hopefully someone you KNOW will not think differently of you because of this. Friends like that are hard to come by unfortunately. Please seek help, or at least advice and a listening ear of someone you trust. Is there ANYHING else you can do to stop those feelings? A hobby, sport, book? JESUS? No joke.
Please go to someone.
- Collies R Us

"Come to me, all you that are weary and are carrying heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me; for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light." (Matt. 11:28-30 NRSV)

Gospel Basics: God created man good, and gave us freedom to choose our own choices. We eventually chose to disobey, creating sin, and now we have also inherited this sin and cannot fight it ourselves. So God sent His Son Jesus to pay for our sins (because the sentence to our crime of sin is death) and so He died on a cross, and took all our sin upon Himself and took our place. We are called to repent of our sins and accept Jesus' pardon on our sin (this does not mean you can continue in sin) not only to escape Hell but also to have the ability to come back to God, to fix the broken relationship. God is absolutely amazing. You will never, ever, find someone even close to how amazing God is. If you mess up and come back to Jesus as you are living, He will forgive.

Don't take this the wrong way. I felt like it needed to be said, whether you know every word of the Gospel or not. Some people don't know. Some people do know, but they ignore it anyway. This may be totally irrelevant to you. I don't know, I just had to get that out there.

I'm sorry you're freaked out. I'm sorry.

PS: My name's Ally too.
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"Be strong and bold; have no fear or dread of them, because it is the LORD your God who goes with you; he will not fail you or forsake you." (Deut. 31:6 NRSV of the Bible)
   
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Re: My mind is screaming for more. - August 3rd 2013, 03:30 AM

Hey there,

Self harm becomes addicting and the more you do it the more addicting it becomes. The best thing you can do is try and fight the urges so you can get to a place where you do not need to turn to self harm. I know this is hard to do but the fact is that self harm tends to get worse and worse the longer you depend on it. Your cuts may start out small and shallow but as time goes on you might find that you need to go deeper and that you are unable to go a day without harming yourself.

Also, self harm does not fix the problem. It might make you feel better for a short period of time but then the guilt and sadness kick in and you start feeling bad again. And the reason that you cut doesn't go away it is just pushed down for a little bit only to come back again at a later time.

Do you know what your triggers are? If you can work on identifying your triggers you can work on trying to find some type of resolution and getting to a better place. I have found that writing is one of the best ways to identify triggers. Whenever you are feeling an urge to harm yourself pick up a pen and paper and start writing and you might slowly start identifying what some of your triggers are.

Have you ever tried using the Alternatives to Self Harm this can be a great thing to use when you are having an urge. I suggest you look over that list and try some of the things suggested when you are having an urge to harm yourself. It might take time for your body to adjust to the things you choose but if you stick with them it can happen.

Have you ever considered talking to someone such as a parent or another trusted adult about what is going on? That might be hard to do but they could give you support while you are trying to overcome all of this. Also, if you were to talk to someone about this you might be able to look into getting counseling which could prove really beneficial because a counselor would give you someone to talk to about your triggers and help you work on finding the proper coping skills to deal with your triggers.

I really hope this helped and if you need anything please feel free to message me.


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