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outofbreath Offline
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Name: Olivia
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Unhappy I'm scared for my life. Someone help?! - August 7th 2013, 03:49 AM

I'm really scared. Why? I think my father is going to hit me.
My father has illnesses as do I. He is bi-polar, I believe. And is (I think) taking his medications. Lately, my dad has gotten angry at everything I do. One word and BAM, he punches a wall, slams things, break things, he yells. He is seriously scary. And I already have a slight fear of men. I only live with my dad by the way. Whenever he gets extremely angry, I just say "Im sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry." Over and over so he doesn't hurt me. He seriously is scaring me really bad. I have a lot to deal with and I really would rather not fear for my life, every second I'm home. I don't know, this might not seem serious. But legit, I say ONE thing that might upset him (I don't try to upset him!!!!!!!) and he goes mad. I don't know what's wrong with him.
I'm not going to talk to him about his anger or anything. Because that will make him angry. I don't want to talk to him at all. I told my mother, who lives in a different state, and of course she doesn't take me seriously. NO ONE EVER TAKES ME SERIOUSLY. And they never will until I'm on the floor, dead. Which, I'm considering.
I put this in the self harm section because I really want to cut, but if he finds out, he'll probably kill me. Seriously. Not joking.
I think God or whoever is up there is begging me to kill myself. Honestly, two places I could live. Both have me scared for my life. My mother horribly hurts my verbally. And my dad will end up hurting me physically.
I've been through so much and STILL, nothing has gotten better. Someone just kill me. I just want to be happy. There's no hope. But please, someone, help me...
I have school tomorrow and I'm tired so I apologize if any of the writing is off.
Thanks in advance.
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hannahgreenwood Offline
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Re: I'm scared for my life. Someone help?! - August 7th 2013, 04:13 AM

Hey Olivia. I think you should avoid your Dad at all costs and if you have a therapist of some kind definitely bring this up with them. If you don't then you should talk to your mother about getting one. Are there any places you can go to work on your homework so you can avoid your house? I doubt you would be able to spend the night at people's houses 24/7 since you're only 16 but it sounds like any time away from there is good.
This is the number for the suicide hotline which is available at all times no matter what and completely free. (1-800-SUICIDE) or (1-800-784-2433) and (1-800-273-TALK) or (1-800-273-8255) They can basically be your therapists if no one else is available to talk to or if your parents refuse to set you up with someone. You can call these people every day if you'd like. They are always inviting.
Also, if he punches you or physically harms you in any way you should call the cops. He is not allowed to hit you. That is abuse. That is against the law. And that option is still open to you when you pass age 18. I have had plenty of moments where I have been certain my Dad will hit me and despite the fact that I'm now 20 if he ever laid a hand on me I would still call them. It is still in my rights to do so and they can and will still take action if he does something.
Do not ever hesitate to call 911. In fact, too many people these days are bashful about that.
Are there any close friends that you can talk to about this in case you don't want to talk to anyone on the hotlines?
Also, I really should have asked this at the beginning but do you have any siblings? Can you count on them to help you out or would they ignore you? Would they have a problem if you called the cops on your father?

Finally, I want you to know that I love you. Don't kill yourself.
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Re: I'm scared for my life. Someone help?! - August 7th 2013, 06:54 AM

Hey there,

I am sorry you are having to deal with all of this but I want you to know that you do matter and things can get better. I know that what you are dealing with is difficult but I want you to know that you do not deserve any of the things that are happening.

You said that you are thinking about self harming and I think the best thing you can do is try and look at the Alternatives to Self Harm. This list of alternatives will provide you with healthy ways to cope with all the things that are going on in your life. I know that self harming can seem like a really great way to cope with everything but in the end it will only cause more harm. You do not deserve to harm yourself in this way. The more you turn to that list when you are feeling the need to harm yourself the more your body will adjust to the alternatives and accept them as a proper way of coping.

Has your dad every hit you in the past? Do you think you could work up the courage to tell someone what is going on at home? I know that might be hard to do but you deserve to get help for this. You shouldn't be afraid of your home life like this and if you could work on telling someone they might be able to help you figure out a solution. Maybe you could tell a teacher, a guidance counselor or another trusted adult that you know? If you are unsure how to talk to them maybe you could write down what you want to say to them and then give them the message. The thing is that you need to try and work on figuring out how to best remedy this solution and talking to someone could help with that. If you dad does hit you you need to call the police immediately so that they can help you get to a safe place as soon as possible. I know doing that would be hard to do but if he raises his hands to you you have the right to speak up and get to a safer environment.

Have you ever considered calling a hotline? I know that when I was in a really bad place I called a hotline and it helped immensely. I think you should definitely give a hotline a try. Here is a link to some Hotlines look that over and see if you can call a hotline that is near you. Remember that those hotlines are there to help you, okay.

Have you ever considered making a Reasons to Live? I think you should look at the list of reasons other users have to keep going and try and make your own list of reasons. Remember that no reason is too small. Your own list might start off really small but as time goes on you might see that it grows. Sometimes you have to find reasons to live in the littlest of things such as seeing a certain movie come out, smelling flowers, a rainy day, or something along those lines. Those all seem like small things but they are all reasons to keep living. Also, do you like music? If so I suggest you look at This link.

I really hope that this helped and if you need anything please feel free to message me.

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