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Self Harm If you or someone you know is struggling with self harm and needs advice or alternatives, we're here to help.

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Unhappy Hi. I kinda need help. - August 10th 2013, 02:22 PM

Okay, so basically I'm kinda young. And this is new for me. Basically my family has been putting a lot of pressure on me, my brother is constantly bullying me. I know what your thinking "Oh it's just young brother and sister stuff." But no. It serious bullying, about my body image and everything. Me and my family think he has anger issues because he try's to hurt me a lot. I mean I'm usually a happy person. And My parents have been divorced since I was young, my mother suffered from drug abuse. So she mostly wasn't in my life. I read a lot of books, from them I learn that for people who cut its supposed to relieve the pain.. One day I just couldn't take it and flipped, I couldn't find anything to cut with so I started scratching my skin really hard, I'm so tempting to go and find some kind of blade downstairs, it all I can think of.
   
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Re: Hi. I kinda need help. - August 10th 2013, 02:47 PM

Hey there,

Welcome to Teenhelp! I am glad you have found the site and I hope that you are able to get some support from us. I know that what you are going through must be really scary but I want you to know that you can make it through this. Self harm can be a really hard thing to struggle with but there is hope and there are a lot better coping skills then self harm to use to make it through all the things you are dealing with. I suggest that you look at the Alternatives to Self Harm when you are feeling overwhelmed and try some of the things on that list. There are a good number of things listed so go down that list and try as many things as you need until you feel the urge dying down.

Now, is there someone you can talk to about all the things that are bothering you? Is there someone you can talk to about how much your brother bothers you? I think it is important that you work on finding someone to reach out to such as a parent, a friend or another trusted adult. Let them know how much you are struggling so that they can help you through all of this; you definitely shouldn't have to go through this on your own. Also, if you were to open up to someone about what you are going through you might be able to seek counseling which could be a great way to deal with everything. Counseling would give you a safe place to go and talk about all the triggers in your life and give you a place to go and work on trying to come up with resolutions to the problems.

Are there things that you like doing? I think you should work on trying to pamper yourself a bit more. Try taking care of you a little bit more because you deserve to be happy and when you are doing the things you like to do you are working on making yourself happy. Do fun activities like taking a bubble bath, paint your nails etc. But, try and focus on the activities that make you happy. If you can't think of these activities right of the top of your head sit down and make a list of these things and then do them.

Do you have any pets? Sometimes when I am feeling overwhelmed I will turn to my cat and just grab her in my arms and pet her. I know it might sound silly but playing with my cat can make me feel a whole lot better. So, if you have any animals I suggest that you try and turn to them when you are feeling upset. Animals are actually a really good therapy.

Another thing I would suggest is that when you are feeling upset you try and get out of the house and go for a walk. Getting out of the house and walking can be a great way to relieve stress and anger and any other emotions you might be feeling.

Do you like writing? When you are upset you could try writing things down in a journal. That way you are letting go of all your emotions but in a healthier way. Instead of harming yourself you are letting those emotions out by writing them down. The key to keeping a journal is writing about whatever is on your mind. If you don't feel comfortable keeping a journal you could always write things down on a loose piece of paper and once you are done with it you could rip it up. The most important thing is that you work on expressing yourself.

I really hope this helped and if you need anything please feel free to message me.


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Re: Hi. I kinda need help. - August 10th 2013, 09:02 PM

I know self harm can be a tempting way to get relief, but it's definitely not worth it. I'm not going to lie, there is a moment of relief right after cutting, but it goes away and you're left feeling even worse. It can become addicting and it can control your life. You end up doing more and more to feel the same thing. You obsess over different tools and when you can next cut. For me, at first I promised myself I wouldn't cut deep enough to scar permanently. But then it got worse, so I promised myself I would keep the scars contained to certain places on my body. But they spread and got worse, and now my legs and stomach will always be a mess of scarring.

Self harm may seem like it brings relief, but in the long run, it actually makes things way worse. Abusing your body can lower your self esteem even more and make bad feelings worse. Also, you have to go out of your way to hide the scars, having to avoid activities like swimming and trips to the beach because you won't be able to cover them up. Cutting can cause you to isolate yourself from friends and other loved ones because you're afraid of them getting to close and finding out.

If you start cutting, it's an addiction you'll have your whole life. In my case, I recovered once, but then fell back into it nine months later. Even though I've stopped cutting for the second time, I still get urges to do it. I've learned how to cope in other ways, but self harm is a demon that I will always carry with me. Trust me, you don't want that.

I'm sorry life is so rough for you right now, but cutting is not the answer. Try the alternatives and activities mentioned above, and please don't hurt yourself because you are worth so much more.
   
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Re: Hi. I kinda need help. - August 10th 2013, 09:10 PM

I would strongly advice that you never cut yourself, as it quickly becomes a bad and horrible habit. Instead try writing thoughts down, singing them or use another way that you like to express yourself.

And I echo the others above thoughts and say welcome.



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Re: Hi. I kinda need help. - August 13th 2013, 04:25 AM

Cutting only makes the wounds scars..wounds can be mended but scars are forever...sucks about your brother, but if you ever feel like yo need to talk to someone I'm always open and willing to help, just PM me.


Life is like a roller coaster. It has ups and downs. But it's your choice to close your eyes or enjoy the ride.
   
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Re: Hi. I kinda need help. - August 13th 2013, 07:29 PM

Hey, first of all cutting is only just hurting you more. I'm sorry to hear your brother is treating you this way. Have you ever tried to talk to your brother and ask him why he treats you like this? You could talk about this maybe with a counselor/therapist. It's good that you're reaching out for help, and we are all here to help you. I agree with everyone else that you could find other ways to express yourself. But please don't cut, trust me, it's really addicting and hard to stop.


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