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Self Harm If you or someone you know is struggling with self harm and needs advice or alternatives, we're here to help.

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Unhappy can't get help for self harm - August 14th 2013, 04:58 AM

Both of my parents know about my self harm (though they don't know the full extent, only that I do it) and they both ignore it. My dad found out a few months ago when he saw the scars on my upper arm, at first he got really angry but then he just stoped acknowledging it, and now even though I've expressed a desire to get help he is reluctant to even let me go to the doctor when I'm sick. About half a year ago my brother told one of his teachers he wanted to kill himself, of coarse CPS ended up getting involved and making a big mess of things, now he tells me I can't go to the doctor (even if I'm am currently sick and want to go to get cured, not for the scars) because he thinks CPS will get involved again, he won't even let me leave the house unless my scars are covered. Somehow I just feel he is being so selfish and I don't know what to do. Anyways, sorry for the long post and some advice would be greatly appreciated, thanks.
   
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Re: can't get help for self harm - August 14th 2013, 06:30 AM

Hi there

First of all, I'm sorry to hear about what your brother went through. I know it is kind of weird that I'm saying that of all things first, but I feel like what happened with him must have been very hard on your family, and yourself, which obviously is still playing its part in your relationship with them. Especially now, when you are self harming, and they know. I'm also sorry to hear that YOU are going through this, I myself am a self harmer, and I know how tough this battle can be, but never give up, there is hope, you just have to find it.

And right here, you just said that you want to get help, you want to see a doctor therapist counselor of some sort, and honestly, that is an extremely strong thing to want, which shows me that you are a fighter. With that being said, ...well, I don't know how old you are, but if you are older than 18, you can find help for yourself without a parent's consent. If you are younger, having a parent let you come is part of the deal. What your dad is saying is not fair to you, and I'll tell you why. Dealing with what happened in the past with your brother has definitely hurt your family, and I get that, I see why it should, because you love your brother. And they love him, and they love you as well. So when the CPS got involved, the need to be extra protective set in. That much, I'm sure, is obvious to you. At least, I hope it is. He simply doesn't want more to happen, to either of his children, he doesn't want to lose either of you.

My question for you is, how does your mother feel about all of this? Have you talked to anyone but your parents, such as a school counselor, nurse at school, maybe any of your friends?

First, I'd talk to your mother about this, if she is on a different page than your dad, and would be open to getting you help which I REALLY hope she is, then maybe she can talk to him for you about it. In some cases, it is all about finding the right therapist and doctors to help you, because really, if your father wants you to be safe, then this would be the right road to doing so. In some cases, finding the right therapist that could not only help YOU but also your parents understand the concept of what you and maybe your brother are going through is a great way to go and help your family feel... well. Better, in general.

Keeping you away from doctors if you are sick is definitely not right, and that needs to be brought up to both of your parents. I can understand their reasoning, but that isn't enough of a reason to let you stay ill or in pain. I can tell you, that when I started going to a therapist and to doctors, ones that would see my scars, they've seen it enough times to know that what you need is less trouble, not more, so the CPS thing would be worked out, hopefully smoother than with your brother.

I might just be rambling on, but it is so sad seeing people go through these things, but recovery is possible. I've seen it, lots of people have seen it, and you are strong enough to get there one day. So stay strong

Hey, if you ever need anything, I and so many others on here are friendly and here to help and listen.... anyways. I hope things start to go better, on every aspect. Have hope
   
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Re: can't get help for self harm - August 15th 2013, 11:37 PM

Hello! thank you for your reply. I know my dad loves me and just wants whats best but sometimes its hard to look at our predicament objectivly. As for my mom, she tends to take a backseat when it comes to parenting, and unfortuanatley it makes it very difficult for me to talk to her about personal issues (even more than my dad). Luckly I'll be going to the doctor today for a check-up, I'm a bit nervous about how he will react when he sees my scars but I'm hoping for the best.
   
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Re: can't get help for self harm - August 16th 2013, 08:37 PM

Well hey, I wish you the best of luck
   
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