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Question how to tell my parents - August 26th 2013, 12:21 AM

hi. I'm new here but I'm not new to depression and cutting. I've been cutting myself for a while and I think my parents suspect it now. I used to be able to fake being fine but lately I just cant even do that... I need help but I hate asking for it and I just don't want my parents to be disappointed when I tell them that I cut myself. so how do I tell them or what do I do?
   
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Re: how to tell my parents - August 26th 2013, 12:37 AM

Hey there,

Welcome to Teenhelp! I am glad that you have found the website and I hope that you are able to get some support while you are here.

It can be really hard to make the decision to open up to your family about your self harm and depression but I think it is a great thing to do. Your parents can offer you a lot of support and they can help you work on getting the help you need to overcome the self harm and depression. If you want to talk to your parents about this face to face the best thing to do would be to talk to them about it at a time when they both seem relatively calm. Explain to them some of the things you have been feeling and then work into talking about your self harm. It might help if you print up some information about self harm as well. This will give them some reading material to go to if they are feeling confused or anything like that. If you aren't 100% certain about what you want to say you could always write it down before talking to them. Sometimes writing things down can help you prepare for a discussion and it can help you not get so flustered when you start to talk to someone. If you don't feel as though you can talk to them face to face you could always write them a letter and leave it somewhere where you know they will get it.

I would also like to suggest that you look into the alternatives to self harm. Here is the link: http://www.teenhelp.org/forums/f12-s...ves-self-harm/ These can be a great way for you to distract yourself from the urges that you get to harm yourself. It might seem like they are not working but if you keep using them you might notice your body starting to adjust to them. Something else you could try doing is working on figuring out what is triggering your urges. If you can work on getting down to the bottom of your urges you can, slowly, work on trying to identify ways to resolve those issues or at least get to a place where you can find a coping skill that works for that particular issue. If you start keeping a journal and write whenever you are feeling triggered you might be able to start working on identifying what your urges are.

I really hope this helped in some way and I am wishing you the best of luck. If you need anything please feel free to message me.


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Re: how to tell my parents - August 26th 2013, 12:41 AM

thank you so much! you don't know how much this means to me! thank you!
   
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Re: how to tell my parents - August 26th 2013, 12:46 AM

Dear brokenlove19,
First off, welcome to TeenHelp!!! I'm so glad your here! I would start off by writing down what you want to tell them. It would be best if it was keep short and sweet. For example, mom/dad when I'm stressed I feel the need to self harm. Explain to them that your not suicidal and that its a coping skill. Good luck! If you ever need someone to talk to please private message me.
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Re: how to tell my parents - August 26th 2013, 12:53 AM

If you're nervous about telling your parents in person, you could try writing a letter. That way you can collect your thoughts and make sure you say everything that you want to. Also, you can explain things without being interrupted. Whether you write something or have a discussion in person, it's a good idea to gather your thoughts and figure out the specifics of what you want to tell them.
   
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Re: how to tell my parents - August 28th 2013, 06:37 PM

Hi! Welcome to TH. This is a very supportive place and I hope you like it here

People have given you really good advice here, but I'm going to add to it Telling your parents can be very challenging. I can guarantee you, they'll probably take it better if it comes from you. If they suspect it, it may be time to tell them. You have the option of telling them about your depression first as sort of a "test run" to see how they react if you'd like. once you tell them, you'll feel a whole lot better. I can promise they won't be disappointed. Although, it'll probably take them a little bit to think about this; they don't want their child to have to go through such pain. Do you think you'll be able to tell them in person? If not, you have the option of writing a note. I find that option very helpful because I can really think out what I'd like to say. All you have to do is give it to them or leave it somewhere that they can find it. Keep us posted, if you'd like. Feel free to message me anytime.


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