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Self Harm If you or someone you know is struggling with self harm and needs advice or alternatives, we're here to help.

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gloves123 Offline
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Arrow Relapse. - August 27th 2013, 10:50 PM

I'm a faileure.
such a freakin faileure.
It's been almost half a year since I last cut myself, but today? I pretty much threw that record out the window. My stomach is covered in cuts and scratches now.
I havent been exactly 'healthily' coping, either, in place of cutting. In the attempts to regain control, I developed and eating disorder. Now my parents are trying to get my weight up from 100 to 115 at least and I cant take it. I cant even control what I eat now. So just now I locked my bedroom door, cried and grabbed my old razor.
I just cant cope without hurting myself. I try to write or draw or take a walk, but that never works.
I just don't know what to do anymore, I'm such a freaking lost cause it baffles me to no end. I WANT to be happy. I WANT to be healthy. But I guess that just doesnt f***ing work for someone like me.
   
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Re: Relapse. - August 28th 2013, 12:21 AM

nobody is a failure. We all succeed in things, whether we realise it or not. Like one time when i was little i wished for good luck and i expected to win loads of money or have a pet dolphin ot whatever, but i actually got friends together and we had a meal and everyone arrived and left safely and nothing bad happened. It wasn't extreme, but it was still good luck. In your situation, you're succeeding. You're still alive and well, you still have chances and choices to go through. You went 6 months without harming! That's amazing! It really is! You know you can do 6 months now, so you know you can easily do it again. If you feel like harming, tell yourself to wait 5 minutes. If those 5 minutes pass and you still feel urges, tell yourself to wait again and do it until the urges go away. There's also many other alternatives on the sticky at the top of the self harm forum if you've not already seen it. I'm online quite a few times a day so if you ever want someone to talk to, i'm available and i'll try to reply as soon as i can
it's great that you WANT to be happy and healthy, sometimes it's hard to know what you want. This gives you something to work for.

i have a feeling you're a strong person, and you can do this. You can go another 6 months because you've done it already. I have faith in you.
good luck!
*hugs*
   
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Re: Relapse. - August 28th 2013, 05:53 PM

Hey!

You are not a failure;definitely not a failure. You said you went almost half a year without cutting yourself. That's great! And you should be very proud of that You can cope, though. You just have to tell yourself that you can and you have to believe in yourself. A lot of times, people will develop something else; those feelings will manifest themselves in another way and I'm very sorry to hear that that's happened to you. It can become almost like a seesaw and that can get challenging. Working to heal one issue at a time rather than everything at once may help you. If those alternatives for cutting don't work, look for more Take a look at the Alternatives Sticky at the top of the SH forum. You can do this!


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The mountains are calling and I must go.
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Nature does not rush, yet everything is accomplished
-Lao Tzu
Memories made in the mountains stay in our hearts forever
Move the body, quiet the mind
   
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