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Self Harm If you or someone you know is struggling with self harm and needs advice or alternatives, we're here to help.

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LiteraryEscape Offline
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First Time. - September 10th 2013, 03:15 AM

This evening I found a razor, took it apart, and cut myself. For the first time. My fingers got cut up quite a bit from trying to get the blades out of the razor. My fingers just started bleeding, I hadn't noticed that they'd been cut until I saw the blood on my bed. I don't know why I felt the need to cut myself. But I did.
   
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Re: First Time. - September 10th 2013, 03:36 AM

Hi,
Welcome to TH!!

Do you know what you were feeling at the time? Usually people cut because of a feeling they are having, feeling numb, feeling depressed or many other emotions. Also, if something triggers someone, such as reminders of an abusive past or of other things that were not good from the past or just images people may see.
if you do not know why, that is fine. People do not always know why they cut. I know I do not always know why.
The thing you should do though is to prevent yourself as much as possible from doing this again. You have only done this once so there is a lot you can do to avoid cutting in the future.
You can take a look at TeenHelp's list of Self Harm Alternatives. They are very helpful (I use quite a few of them myself) and the more you do things that distract you from wanting to cut the better.
If you figure out what you were feeling or thinking about at the time, next time you feel those emotions, you can do one of the alternatives (or any you choose to create) instead of harming yourself.
Remember self harm never solves any problems and in the long-term, it can cause more problems.
it is really great you were able to post about this and I hope that my reply is somewhat of use to you.
If you ever need anything, you can send me a PM and I will be glad to help or just listen.
Take care.


"i don't care your intentions. I just want you to know my self-hatred never took me where I wanted to go. At the end of the day...I can pick at the pain but I can't cut it away."
   
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Re: First Time. - September 10th 2013, 11:05 PM

I was feeling stressed. My parents have such high expectations when it comes to my grades and performance in school. When expectations aren't meant I get that look of pure disappointment. I feel like there is no way I'll ever be able to be what they want me to be. In school today all I could think about was cutting myself again and feeling that release (probably not the correct terminology).
   
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Re: First Time. - September 11th 2013, 12:57 AM

Hi there!

I'm sorry that you felt the need to cut yourself. But I want you to know that with the help of us here on TH, being able to deal with those feelings in a healthy way will get easier. I want you to know that you're not a disappointment. Sometimes, parents have too high of expectations for their children. The next time you are feeling the need to cut yourself, try to check out the alternatives thread as mentioned above. I also suggest sitting your parents down and explaining to them that you're getting really stressed because of their expectations.


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