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I want to cut. I want to die. I want to be gone. - September 20th 2013, 11:58 PM

This thread has been labeled as triggering by the original poster or by a Moderator. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

So, lately I've just been wanting to cut a lot. And I have cut a lot. On Sunday I put over 60, new cuts on my leg and some on my arm and ankle. I've been cutting for 3 years and I don't really want to stop anymore. And lately I've been wanting to kill myself a lot more. Everyday I think to myself that it would just be easier if I killed myself. I know it should be easier. But I really just want someone to talk to.. I don't know what's going on with me right now, but I don't really like it. I'm tired of pretending to be happy and okay around everybody when I know I'm not.. Sorry for the random little rant.
   
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Re: I want to cut. I want to die. I want to be gone. - September 21st 2013, 12:15 AM

Hey, Chloe, i'm sorry to hear all that :/

You know, hun, you shouldn't make yourself feel the Pain of cutting because a sweet little angel like yourself Doesn't Deserve to be in hurt, so you shouldn't make yourself that way.

However, there can be many explanations to WHY you've been cutting and thinking suicidal thoughts.

But most likely it seems to me (As your 15) it could just be puberty, as your emotions are changing rapidly, this can be a common thing to experience Whilst in this age. Especially since you've felt this way Since the age of (12) which can be the average time for puberty to begin.

Killing yourself; won't solve anything. It'll just end your life. Life isn't miserable. Though your mind may tell you it is; its really not. Life is special, and beautiful.

IF you did kill yourself; you'll forever be left wondering WHY life is so beautiful and special; because theres ALWAYS two sides to life; good and bad, rough and smooth; you HAVE to go through One to get the other side, you must experience BOTH, maybe you experience GOOD first, then BAD later in life, maybe its the other way around.

Point is; at some point or another things WILL change for you, and you'll see what i mean when i say 'Life is beautiful and special'

My personal advice is to find a hobby, read a book, enjoy yourself, build your confidence up, honestly don't go hurting yourself

Do you deserve that pain? NO. I know its tough to stop cutting, but trust me, you'll Feel So much better once you have! And your thoughts of suicide will end soon after too!

I'm always here for you if you need to talk to, or anything at all. <3

(Also, you can talk to your parents or any trusted Adult or close friend about the way you feel; they will understand, don't keep it secert! <3 )

   
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Re: I want to cut. I want to die. I want to be gone. - September 21st 2013, 12:36 AM

Hey Chloe, I'm sorry to hear that you're feeling so down :/ but I just want you to know that for every bump in the road, there is a smooth surface. Many people have gone down the road you've traveled, and many can tell you that it'll get better, but you have to work for it.
Please, talk to a counselor (like at school) or even your parents. They don't, and we don't, want anything horrible to happen to you.
Please PM/VM me if you have any questions.

Stay strong <3


"Don't tell me you're not beautiful. You're the kind of beautiful the blind would see if we could figure out some way to give them three seconds of sight." -- Shane Koyczan
   
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