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Self Harm If you or someone you know is struggling with self harm and needs advice or alternatives, we're here to help.

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Crestfallen101 Offline
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help - September 24th 2013, 05:53 AM

How do I tell my parents I cut
   
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Re: help - September 24th 2013, 06:07 AM

Hey Tavia, welcome to TH I'm glad you want to tell your parents about this. It's really up to you how you go about it. I would suggest waiting until they aren't busy, or letting them know that you have something serious you need to talk about so they can set aside a good time.

If you think writing it down would be easier, you can write them a letter,, or discuss it with them, but give yourself bullet points so it doesn't feel overwhelming and you make sure you cover everything.

It also might help to think about how they might react and be prepared for it.


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Re: help - September 24th 2013, 11:45 AM

Hey there,

It's really great that you want to tell your parents about your self harm! That takes a lot of courage and is definitely a step in the right direction towards recovery.

Of course, the first way would be talking to them in person about it. If you do this, sit down with them on a day when they are in a relatively good mood in an area that doesn't have distractions in it. It may help you if you plan out what you're going to say first. Maybe you can make a little outline of the main points you want to cover before you go in there so you know what you're going to say. Then, be as honest as possible with them, letting them know that you self harm and you're telling them because you really want their help and support. Answer any questions they have honestly, because that's how they can help you! If you want, you can print out pamphlets or borrow books from the library that explain self harm better, so they have some material that may help them understand a bit more.

But, Kate is right that writing a letter can help as well! This option allows you to get everything out without nerves and interruptions getting in the way. You also make sure your main points are all covered, because you'd be writing them all down. Then, either hand them the letter or leave it somewhere where you know they'll find it, such as on their bedroom pillow or the kitchen table. They'll still want to discuss things with you, but at least your points will be out.

When I told my parents about my self harm, I told my guidance counselor first. I wrote her a letter that I allowed her read while I was in the room, but if you want, you can tell your guidance counselor/teacher/whoever else verbally if you use this option. Basically, my point of telling my guidance counselor first was so she could meet with my parents and tell them. I knew I'd chicken out unless I did it this way, so I decided to just tell my guidance counselor and have them talk to my parents.

I hope all goes well, this is a great thing you're doing!

-Dez


   
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Re: help - September 25th 2013, 02:22 PM

Hey there!

Dez and Katie gave some good advice, but I'm going to add to it. Telling your parents can be really challenging. Even if you do decide that you want to do it verbally, it might be good to write some points down. I know it can be really nerve-wracking to do this, so having those points might help in case you get nervous. Like Katie and Dez have mentioned, have your parents sit down when they are in a good mood and they aren't busy. If you have a note, you can place it where they'll find it, like on their nightstand.

Keep in mind that your parents may be upset. Remember that they aren't upset at you, they're upset at the situation that you are in. They're going to want to talk to you and help you to the best of their ability. We all want to help you. If you need anything, feel free to send me a message.

-Cassie


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