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Self Harm If you or someone you know is struggling with self harm and needs advice or alternatives, we're here to help.

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
DaisyElizabeth Offline
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Name: Daisy
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Join Date: October 7th 2013

Relapse - October 7th 2013, 10:35 PM

Hey im Daisy.
I've been clean for many months and im really proud of myself, i dont know how i did it to be completly honest.
A couple of days ago I felt so depressed, everything was going wrong. I found my blades and cut my hip, I didnt bleed which i suppose is good. Minutes ago i cut my arm, i dont know what to do, I hate myself for it. nobody knows.. everybody thinks im better, please help me. I dont want to do this to myself again, these scars will be a constant reminder of how little self control i have... i need other coping mechanisms, any advise?
Daisy x
  (#2 (permalink)) Old
cynefin Offline

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Re: Relapse - October 7th 2013, 10:56 PM

Hi, Daisy! to TH.

Congrats on going SH free for as long as you did, you should be proud of yourself. Everyone relapses during their recovery from time to time, and that is okay; it means you're human. The word, "relapse" within itself means that you're in recovery. Do you know what triggered you? It helps to go write these things down while you're triggered. In the meantime, I'm going to link the list of alternatives here. Message me if you need anything

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  (#3 (permalink)) Old
Azure. Offline
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Re: Relapse - October 7th 2013, 11:22 PM

Hey there,
Relapses happen. You just have to pick yourself up again and keep going. I know it might seem like a daunting task, but you CAN beat self harm. Relapses are a part of recovery, so don't beat yourself up for it. Keep hopeful and keep trying.

As Cassie said, find out what triggers you and try the alternatives to self harm link. It is very helpful. Keep your head up. You should be proud about how far you've come! If you ever need someone to talk to, feel free to message me

Find your light in a new dawn.

  (#4 (permalink)) Old
Hypothesis. Offline
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Re: Relapse - October 8th 2013, 12:48 AM

Hey there,

First of all, I'm really sorry to hear you had a relapse. Know that even though you had a slip up, it does not just erase all of the good work and effort you did. Those many months you were clean was a GREAT accomplishment. Think of this relapse as a temporary bump in the road. You get up, dust yourself off, and keep going. Maybe you can make it even longer next time, but no matter what, when you're struggling, even a day, hour, minute self harm free is good!

First of all, do you know what is triggering you to self harm? You said that everything was going wrong yesterday, but was there one thing that stands out to you that may have caused this, or are you unsure? If you are ever unsure of what your triggers are, one thing you can do is keep a journal. Even if you are sure of what your triggers are, though, a journal is a great way to vent. Take note of the time you get these urges to self harm by writing down the date and time, where you were, what was happening, and how you felt. Then when you're calmer you can look back and notice these patterns or events and find ways to solve them or get advice.

I'd also like to address the fact that everyone thinks you're better. Even though they may think this, you don't deserve to go through this alone and I bet if they knew you were still struggling, they'd be willing to help. You can explain to them that you were doing really well but are having a hard time, and you're trying hard but need help. Talk to family and friends, religious leaders, teachers, school nurses, guidance counselors, family friends, doctors, or counselors, for instance. You really do deserve the support system. They can help you identify triggers or cope in ways that you'd never have before, or solve your problems.

Cassie gave you a wonderful list to a link of alternatives to self harm towards the end of her response. There are loads of ways to cope on this list, so if one doesn't work, don't get discouraged. There are plenty of there to try from, so you're bound to find one that works. It does take a bit of trial and error. What also may help is if you try and be near people when you want to self harm, whether on person or on the phone. Even if you don't talk about your triggers with them it's harder to self harm when you're with people.

Also try and find ways to take care of yourself during this time. You deserve to pamper yourself and relax sometimes. Do a hobby or hang out with friends or family. Take a warm bath or shower then curl up with a good book or movie. Or, use a nice smelling lotion, paint your nails, or eat your favorite food.

You are not defeated. You CAN kick self harm to the curb and come out on top. With time and effort, you can beat this.


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Outside, huh?
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Re: Relapse - October 8th 2013, 03:56 PM

I pretty much agree with what everyone else is saying. I am so sorry that you are going through such a tough/hard time right now. I completely understand where you are coming from. Are you currently seeing a therapist/counselor? If not, I highly suggest that you do. They will be able to help you figure out ways on how to cope in situations like this. They will also help you figure out what the triggers are and how to avoid them the next time. We have a list of alternatives to self-harm in this forum that you should take a look at whenever you get an urge to self-harm/cut yourself.

Are you currently still in school? If so, then have you thought about joining any school clubs or sports? If you are not currently apart of any sports or clubs yet, then I suggest that you do as it may help with keeping your mind off of everything that is bothering you at this moment in time. You could also try exercising. I, myself, have found that exercising helps me keep my mind off of everything that is bothering me. I have also found out that doing homework, studying, and/or reading for school has helped me out with keeping my mind off of everything that is bothering me.

I just wanted to let you know that you are not alone in this. We are here to help you out whenever possible.I hope this helps you out some. Please stay strong and never give up hope.

Member Since 1/15/2012
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