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Self Harm If you or someone you know is struggling with self harm and needs advice or alternatives, we're here to help.

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
FireHeart Offline
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A small part of my story.. - October 14th 2013, 06:19 AM

So i've been self-harming for about a month now. See, around that time I was told I had to testify in Febuary. Because about a year ago this bastard, a supposedly close family friend, molested me for months and I've been dealing with the court fallout on top of PTSD and major depression. I've tried to be strong all my life so that I could take care of my family, my mom being a drug addict until two years ago, my dad dying around that time. I felt it was my job to be the glue. But I'm not strong. I can't be glue anymore. So now I hurt myself, and the sad part is, I don't want to stop. I so it for so many different reasons that can be very complex. But it helps me sometimes. It gives me control. So I do it.
A small part of my story, for what it's worth. I share this in hopes of letting others like me know they're not alone and, I don't know, vocalizing what's going on with me. I have people I can talk to here, but what could a little more, unrelated support hurt?


HAPPINESS is just waiting for me to take it; I truly believe that now.
~SCARS
   
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Re: A small part of my story.. - October 14th 2013, 09:29 AM

Its only been a month.
If i could go back to when I was 11... the first time I ever harmed myself.. I would have found a different way.
In no ways are you weak for doing this. You held up strong.. this is just another thing to work through. You have to want to not do it... I cant tell you not to.. if you really want to.. and not stop.. But please look at all the reprocautions.. what if you cut too deep? Someone sees? You have only been doing this a month.. you can quit before you end up like me.. 8 years down the road.. struggling with this stupid addiction.. Feel free to message me anytime.. I'll be glad to talk with you. Okay? You are so much stronger than you think...
   
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Re: A small part of my story.. - October 14th 2013, 07:02 PM

Hey there,

I really am sorry to hear about all of the things you have been going through lately. I agree with Rachel, you are in no way weak for self harming. I can tell you are stronger than you think, and you are such an amazing, caring person. You're just in a bit of a rut right now, but that doesn't mean you can't get out of it and come out on top!

It's great that you have people to talk to on here! It is always excellent to have people you can talk to, because you don't deserve to go through this alone. Have you considered talking to others in your life as well? For instance, if there are any friends, teachers, club advisers, coaches, doctors, or guidance counselors you trust, you can speak to them. It wouldn't hurt to have a lot of people around you who you can go to when you need it, after all. They can help you cope in ways you hadn't thought of before, help you solve some of your problems, and it can just be amazing to have someone to talk to when you need it the most.

This link takes you to a list of alternatives to self harm. You may think that you are in control right now, but the self harm becomes an addiction that is difficult to stop. Also, you have to worry about hiding it from those you want to see, as well as infection. These are healthier, safer ways to cope. If one doesn't work, don't get discouraged, though! There are plenty more out there, and one is bound to work for you. Maybe you can find other ways to express your emotions like writing, art, music, or even exercise, so they're not all pent up inside of you, waiting to burst. Or, when you have the urge to self harm you can go be with someone else or call someone, because it's harder to self harm around others. But, experiment a bit. With trial and error, you'll find something that works for you.

I know it can be hard, feeling like you have to take care of everyone else, but do try to set aside days where you just worry about you. Maybe take a warm bath or shower then curl up with a good book or movie. Eat your favorite foods, paint your nails, or use a nice lotion. Do a hobby. In other words, take a day aside, maybe once a week or every other week (or as often as you can), where you are just taking care of yourself and your needs, without worrying about everyone else. You're only fifteen, you need to enjoy your life as well!

Keep your head held high and stay strong. Even though things are bad for you now, they won't be forever. You CAN get through this, and it will be so worth the effort.

-Dez


   
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Re: A small part of my story.. - October 15th 2013, 01:32 AM

Hi Jade, and to TH!

I'm so sorry to hear that you've been abused. I know what that's like, and if you'd ever like to talk about anything feel free to message me. As other posters have mentioned, you're definitely not weak for struggling with self-harm. You've a very strong person.

You can get through this Dez gave you a wonderful link that gives some great alternatives from self harming. Do you know what's triggering you? Perhaps you can write it down and eventually find a pattern. Self harming does become extremely addicting, and I recommend trying to stop while you can.

Feel free to message me


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Re: A small part of my story.. - October 15th 2013, 11:53 AM

Thank you everyone for taking the time to read what i wrote and for the encouraging words. I really appriciate it. And, like i tell everyone here who has seen my scars, its a work in progress. Im a work in progress. Im on meds, have a therapist and a great support system that i can and do talk to...which leads me to wonder why thats not enough for me, why i still feel the need to self harm despite everything. It makes me feel lhke a lost cause, even though deep down i know thats not thd case. Thanks again for reading.


HAPPINESS is just waiting for me to take it; I truly believe that now.
~SCARS
   
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