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Self Harm If you or someone you know is struggling with self harm and needs advice or alternatives, we're here to help.

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I don't even know - October 15th 2013, 11:23 PM

I started self-harming(cutting) about two weeks ago. A couple of people have already noticed and it's scaring me bc I don't want my parents finding out. I don't know what they would do if they did.
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Re: I don't even know - October 16th 2013, 01:28 AM

Hey there,

I'm sorry to hear that you are struggling right now but it is great that you have decided to reach out for help for this! I think that the first step towards recovery is recognizing a problem and trying to solve it.

Do you know what it is that is triggering you to get the urge to self harm? If you don't know what it is that is causing you to want to self harm, one thing you can do is write a journal. Even if you do know what your triggers, are, writing a journal will still be a great way to vent out your emotions. To identify your triggers, take special note of the times you have the urges. Write down the date and time it happened, where you were, what was happening, and how you felt. You can even write down how you dealt with the situation, such as whether you self harmed or not. Then when you're calmer you can look back and notice patterns or events that may be causing you to want to self harm, and then get advice on it or try and solve it.

This is the link to some alternatives to self harm. These are healthier, safer ways to cope with what is going on. These alternatives are better than actually self harming because you won't have to worry about hiding anything anymore, or the risk of infection. Also, self harm becomes an addiction, so now you can start to break the addiction. Any problems you are facing can also start to come back with self harm because you aren't actually solving them, you're making them worse when you also have to start worrying about hiding the cuts or making up excuses. Why not try one of those alternatives instead? If one doesn't work for you, don't get discouraged. There are plenty more, and one will work for you! Maybe you can find new ways to express your emotions, such as writing, art, or music, or exercise to release stress. You can also try and be with a person or call someone up, so you're distracted. It's harder to self harm when around others.

Try and find ways to take care of yourself as well. Maybe you can take a day out for yourself to relax, just take a warm shower or bath then read a good book or movie, or eat your favorite foods for instance. You can even do your favorite hobbies. Take some time out for yourself where you don't have to worry about others.

I know you may not want your parents finding out, but I really do think you need a support system around you. Are your sure your parents would react badly? They do care about you, and I bet if they knew that you were struggling, they would want to help you. But, there are other people you can speak with. For instance, you can talk to one of the people who noticed and was concerned. Or, you can speak with a friend, family member, teacher, coach, club adviser, guidance counselor, school nurse, doctor, or therapist. There is always someone out there who is willing to help and support you, so don't get discouraged if the first person doesn't listen. Your voice deserves to be heard! People can help you get things off your chest, help you cope in different ways, or solve your problems.

You CAN beat this and kick self harm to the curb. It may be really hard at first, but self harm isn't really a good way to cope. Start trying to tackle some of the problems that may be causing you to self harm and develop some good coping mechanisms that you can go to when you have the urges so you can start breaking the cycle of addiction. It's never too late!

Keep your head held high, stay strong, and keep fighting. The fight is so worth it.

Also, welcome to TeenHelp!


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Re: I don't even know - October 16th 2013, 05:18 AM

Hey there,

Do you know what has caused you to self harm? If you can work on identifying what is causing you to want to harm yourself you can work on trying to resolve these issues and get to a better place. It can be really hard to identify your triggers but if you started keeping a journal or something like that you could start writing down your feelings whenever you are feeling the urge to harm yourself instead of cutting. The more you write the more you might start to identify your triggers.

Who has been noticing your self harm? Is it people you would feel comfortable talking to about your feelings and letting them in on your struggles? I know this would be really hard to do but you shouldn't have to deal with all of this alone and having people to support you through everything that you are going through could be really beneficial. When you self harm a lot of the reason you are self harming is because you don't have a healthy way of expressing your emotions so if you had friends to talk to about the things going on in your life it could help.

I think it would be a really good idea for you to turn to the alternatives to self harm. I know that sometimes the alternatives can seem as though they don't work but if you keep on using them your body can adjust to them and you won't need self harm as much. Here is the link: http://www.teenhelp.org/forums/f12-s...ves-self-harm/

I know that you don't want your parents to know that you are harming yourself but I think it would be a really good idea for you to try and figure out a way for you to try and tell them. I know that this will be hard to do but in the end your parents could help you work on getting to a place where you could work on getting help for your self harm and work on getting to a better place.

I really hope that this helped and if you need anything please feel free to message me.

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