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Self Harm If you or someone you know is struggling with self harm and needs advice or alternatives, we're here to help.

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A Simple Question: Why?? - October 17th 2013, 01:11 AM

I'm not too familiar with the (sorry if I offend) 'world of self harm'. However as I lay on my bed with a sharp pocket knife in my peripheral vision, I thought to myself; "what would it feel like to cut myself?". So, I 'allowed' myself to do it just that time and that time only. Three moderately sized cuts on my leg, so it's not in view of people.

The next day I told my best friend who I know I can confide in this, also dropping that I wouldn't do it again, I was just testing what it felt like. He himself has experienced spurs of self harm but decided to stop to not want to look "emo".

Tonight I went to bed, but then rose out of bed after five minutes or so of thinking, picked up the knife and cut myself AGAIN, this time 8-12 cuts on my left leg, the other cuts still on my right. I don't know why I'm doing this and I want to know why. I'm not unhappy at all. Not depressed, self conscious any more than the average male 14yr. I have a healthy relationship that we're both proud of and there hasn't been any problems in that area recently. Cutting myself goes against everything I've ever learned from social groups and what-not. Three days ago I would have never thought I would be cutting myself. It's not like I want to continue, because I don't. I just simply don't know why I'm doing this so if one of you can tell me, that'd be real fucking dandy.
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Re: A Simple Question: Why?? - October 17th 2013, 01:58 AM

Hey there,

The thing with self harm is that it can become an addiction for sure. I do think that maybe you originally did start self harming because of the curiosity, wondering what it felt like, but then self harm DOES become an addiction, something that you do get cravings and urges to do sometime, and that could be what you are going through right now, getting that urge.

It's not too late to stop, though! Maybe you can keep what you use to self harm somewhere away from you so it's harder to access, or keep a note on it reminding you exactly why you shouldn't be self harming, such as that it's addictive, that now you have to hide, that you have to worry about infection, or whatever else you may think of as a reason why you shouldn't be self harming. You can also try and use some alternatives to self harm, so when you get the urge you have other things to do so you don't find yourself self harming again. A link to a list of alternatives can be found here. These are healthier, safer ways to cope, and it may help you break some of the addiction. Or you can try calling up a friend or hanging out with someone since you can't really self harm when in front of people.

Remind yourself that it is okay to get support for this if you need to, as well. There are people out there that will try and help you through it. Maybe you can talk to your best friend if it continues, since he has decided to stop and may know some tips. Or, get support from another loved one or an adult you can trust like a teacher or guidance counselor. Whether you know "why" or not, they can help you stop, and maybe even identify what may be causing it.

You can also keep a journal where you take special note every time you have the urge to self harm or actually do self harm. Write down the date and time, where you were, what was happening, and how you felt. Later on you can even write whether you cut or not. I know it may be difficult at first but maybe you can notice patterns or events that may be causing you to get the urges more than at other time.

Know that you can kick self harm to curb and beat the addiction before it gets worse. You are not a bad person at all, and it's good that you don't want to continue! That's the first step, knowing you don't want this pattern to continue.

You can do this!


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Re: A Simple Question: Why?? - October 17th 2013, 02:19 AM

I'm totally going to agree with Dez, it can get addicting, lots of us know. The good news is that, yes, you're so early into it, kicking it out of your life right now would be fantastic! Urges to relapse again happen, because something like self harm can be this comfort, not a healthy one, but one.

I can totally understand why you were questioning it, because the "world of self harm" is really confusing to some people, to some people its this taboo and sounds ridiculous, but there's people out there who were perfectly fine and still can't last an hour without hurting themselves, which actually isn't just cutting.

Dez gave you the Alternatives Thread, but click that if you need it again, because honestly I've found it to be really helpful when the urges come up. It offers alternatives for lots of things, like if you self harm to feel the pain, or to see it, or to release emotions, lots of things. So what I suggest, and this won't be easy but really find the answer inside of yourself, is to ask yourself: Why do you still do it? What are you looking for by doing it?

It is okay to not be okay, and its even more okay to reach out and get help. Its great that you've come to TeenHelp, because if you haven't seen it already, you aren't alone in this. You aren't the only one asking yourself why you do this, but I promise this isn't your ending, and it can be beaten, because you're strong.

Also, you don't have to have problems in your life or be depressed to hurt yourself. Self harm can happen in the weirdest times or in the hardest times, whether its a physical problem or an emotional one, or sometimes even a mental problem, something out of wack in your mind. But what's great is this...

You want to stop. That's really wonderful, because that, as Dez also said, is the first step to overcoming self injury. It proves that you're better than this. It won't be easy, but this problem can be overtaken, just take this one day at a time, and don't give up hope.

There's always reasons to have hope

If you ever need anything, someone to talk to, someone to understand, or you just have a question of some sort, I'm always here

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Re: A Simple Question: Why?? - October 17th 2013, 02:51 AM

You guys pretty much already said what I was thinking. But yeah, get rid of that knife. You're still fairly new to the realm of self harming so get out as soon as you can and just put it all behind you. Continuing to cut will cause so many problems. It's not worth it.

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Re: A Simple Question: Why?? - October 17th 2013, 05:06 AM

Hey there,

Honestly, no one can tell you why you are harming yourself except for yourself. You have to figure out what is triggering your urges to self harm. Right now you are saying that curiosity triggered the first episode and that makes sense. I think that there are people out there who are triggered in to cutting by curiosity however you have continued on and I don't think you have continued due to curiosity. What are some things that could be bothering? Do you just like the feel of the blade and the cuts? If you want you could try keeping a journal and see if that helps you identify what has triggered the episode of self harm.

As the others have stated, self harm is addicting and the more you do it the harder it is to stop so it is really important that you work on trying to stop this now before it becomes more of a habit. I think you should definitely look into the alternatives that you have been given and whenever you get the urge use some of the things listed instead.

Do you think that you could try talking to a parent, friend or another trusted person about what is going on? I know that might be hard to do but if you could reach out to someone about this you might give you a release so that you don't feel the need to harm yourself. Maybe you just need someone to talk to and without having someone to talk to you are feeling the need to self harm. If you let all your pent up feelings out you might start to feel a little bit better, you know.

Lastly, I think it would definitely be a really good idea if you threw out your blade. It might be hard to do but in the end if you don't have access to something to harm yourself it will be harder to do it.

I hope this helped and I am wishing you the best of luck.

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