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Self Harm If you or someone you know is struggling with self harm and needs advice or alternatives, we're here to help.

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
Chai. Offline
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i needed to punish myself! - October 18th 2013, 08:10 PM

i was self harm free for 2 years..
but today i needed to punish myself. i hurt him. i hurt him a lot. he has always been there for me. my best friend. he did not wait. Poof! he was gone. my sorrys all went vain! i had to punish myself. i punished myself!
i dont know if i did right.
but now it hurts a lot. i dont know how to stop it
   
  (#2 (permalink)) Old
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Re: i needed to punish myself! - October 18th 2013, 08:52 PM

Firstly, well done for being free for 2 years, that brilliant, you should be really proud. You could have a look at the list of alternatives which might help, you can find that here. If you have self harmed, which it sounds like you have make sure you look after your wounds, you can find first aid information here.


I'm here if anyone wants to talk, I'm always here. Feel free to VM or PM me
   
  (#3 (permalink)) Old
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Re: i needed to punish myself! - October 18th 2013, 09:35 PM

Hey there,

Great job on two years self harm free! That's really something to be proud of. Now you know that you CAN get rid of SH.

I would try the list of alternatives that Jenny gave the link to. These are very helpful when you feel the need to hurt yourself. Try different alternatives and see what works best for you! Also, make sure that you take care of your wounds so they don't get infected. The link for that is also in the post above mine

Everyone messes up sometimes. Don't be too hard on yourself for this. Pick yourself up and keep going You can do it! I wish you the best.
If you ever want to talk or chat, feel free to PM or VM me


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  (#4 (permalink)) Old
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Re: i needed to punish myself! - October 19th 2013, 02:09 AM

Hey there,

First of all, two years self harm free is amazing, so give yourself a pat on the back. Try not to treat this relapse as defeat. Treat it like it is a temporary bump in the road, something that you can pick yourself back up, dust yourself off, and keep going from. This is just temporary. You can get through this and get back on track, I have confidence in you.

I don't know what happened between you and your friend, but maybe you can send him a message explaining yourself? I don't know if he'll forgive you, but if you still have a way to contact him you can always apologize for hurting him. It may help you to at least get things off your chest, and it may clear your conscience a bit. And who knows, maybe all your friend needs is a bit of space to clear his own mind and figure things out. Everyone does make mistakes, but you can't let those hold you back forever. Now you have learned from your mistake and know not to repeat it.

Remember that punishing yourself, especially with self harm, won't solve anything and instead will make things worse. For instance, now you have at least some sort of negative feeling from self harming, right? There's also the risk of infection (Jenny gave you a great link to first aid information to help prevent that), and you have to worry about hiding the self harm from those you don't want to know about it. Instead, why not use healthier, safer ways to cope? Jenny also gave you an awesome link to a list of alternatives to self harm. These are healthier ways to cope so you don't have to resort to self harm again. I find ones that allow me to express myself, such as writing, to be the best, but for you it may be different. It's all about trial and error, so if one doesn't work, don't get discouraged. There will be one for you.

Try and find things to do to take care of yourself during this time. You can join a club or sports team, or do a hobby. Or, just take a day for yourself. Maybe you can take a warm bath or shower then read a good book or movie, eat something yummy, or do your hair and nails. In other words, pamper yourself! You deserve a day where you are just taking care of you.

If you can, try and find people who you can talk to about this. For instance, a friend, family member, teacher, guidance counselor, or other trusted person may be able to help you, not only with the self harm, but also with coping with what happened between you and your best friend.

Keep your head held high and stay strong. You can do this, and I have confidence you can become self harm free once more.

-Dez


   
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Re: i needed to punish myself! - October 19th 2013, 02:44 AM

Hey there,

I am sorry you and your friend had an argument but I want you to know that does not mean that you deserve to be punished. Sometimes we get into arguments with the people we care about and that is okay; just because the two of you aren't getting along right now does not mean you deserve pain. Do you think that if you give it some time you could work things out? Sometimes when an argument or a falling out first happens people have trouble accepting apologies but once they have been given some time to work through their emotions they are more willing to accept the apology that they have been offered. Maybe you could wait a day or two and then send him a message or call him and try talking to him again.

Now, sometimes when we are overcome with emotions we relapse and there is nothing wrong with that. You just need to focus on the fact that you were able to go so long without self harm in the first place and remind yourself that you can get back to that place. You did it once and you can do it again. The relapse is not what is important it is overcoming the relapse that matters. Now, I think it is really important for you to look at the list of alternatives: http://www.teenhelp.org/forums/f12-s...ves-self-harm/ and whenever you are having an urge to harm yourself you can go down that list and try some of the things that have been listed. I know it might be hard to think of using alternatives sometimes but the alternatives are a much healthier way of coping with the emotions that you are dealing with.

Is there anyone in your life that you could talk to about the falling out that you and your best friend had? Maybe you could talk to your parents, a teacher, another friend or someone else you trust? It could be really beneficial to open up about what has happened because it might help you work through it all and get to a better place. If you keep it all locked inside you won't be able to deal with it and that might lead to more self harm. However, if you open up about what happened you will be allowing yourself to deal with what has occurred and be allowing yourself the ability to, slowly, work on moving forward from what has occurred.

I really hope that this helped and if you need anything please feel free to message me.


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  (#6 (permalink)) Old
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Re: i needed to punish myself! - October 19th 2013, 11:39 AM

Thank you everyone.. thank you so much!
i lived 2 years without self harming, so i am hoping i can live more after this!
thanks a lot..
   
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