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Self Harm If you or someone you know is struggling with self harm and needs advice or alternatives, we're here to help.

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Unhappy Would've been 2 years.. - October 20th 2013, 10:33 PM

It would've been 2 years on the 16th, but now I started again... and, I can't stop. I've been so stressed, and it's the only thing I have to turn to.

I promised my boyfriend of a year and a month that I wouldn't... but, I did like 20 minutes ago...

FML.

I don't know what to get out of this post, but I used to come on here alot and I thought that the people I used to talk to... I could talk to again... </3


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Re: Would've been 2 years.. - October 21st 2013, 12:20 AM

Hey there,

What has been stressing you out? Maybe if you tried to resolve the things that are stressing you out it would help you get to a better place in regards to the self harm? Do you have people you could talk to about your stressors? If you could work on talking about the things that are stressing you out, even if you cannot resolve them it might be beneficial. Maybe you could work on making a list of people you could try and lean on?

Have you looked at the alternatives to self harm (http://www.teenhelp.org/forums/f12-s...ves-self-harm/) If you haven't try looking at that list and see if the things listed there could help you. Go down the list and when you are feeling an urge try the things suggested and see if they help. If can seem like the alternatives don't work but if you use them enough it can work.

Do you think opening up to a counselor about this would be helpful? I know that going to a counselor can be a hard thing to do but in the end it can be really beneficial. It will give you someone to open up to and work on figuring out what your triggers are and you will work on finding some proper coping skills for all of this.

I really hope that this helped in some way and if you need anything and if you need anything please feel free to pm me.


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Re: Would've been 2 years.. - October 21st 2013, 12:25 AM

Hi there,

I really am sorry to hear about your relapse, but almost two years is a really great accomplishment, so please don't take it lightly. Give yourself a huge pat on the back, because it really is great that you worked so hard. Know that this isn't the end of all of your hard work and achievements. This is only a temporary slip-up, and you can get through it and come back out on top.

I know you told your boyfriend that you wouldn't self harm again, but is he still someone you'd be able to go to for support? You can let him know you tried your hardest but had a relapse. I think that you really should have people in your life who you can talk to about what stresses you out so you don't have to worry about self harming at all. Besides your boyfriend, you can speak with friends and family members, teachers, guidance counselors, school nurses, doctors, therapists, coaches and club advisers, or anyone else you trust. It is very important to have a support system through this so they can help you cope and get you to a place where you won't need self harm, and it can also help just to have someone to vent to.

It may also help you to find other ways to deal with your stress and other emotions. Exercise is a great way to release stress, as well as stay healthy. Other forms of self expression such as writing, art, or music may help as well. It doesn't have to be "good" or "make sense." What it does is allows you to get your emotions out in healthier, safer ways. There are other things you can do in the place of self harm as well. This is a link to a list of alternatives to self harm. It's worth it to try and use alternatives so you don't have to hide anything or worry about infection, and you won't have the bad feelings that come after a relapse.

Do you always know what it is that triggers you to self harm? If you ever are unsure, one thing you can do to identify your triggers is to keep a journal. In it, take special note of the urges to self harm by writing down the date and time, where you were, what was going on, and how you felt. Later on you can even write about how you dealt with the situation. Then, when you're calmer you can look through it and notice patterns or events that you can try and solve or get advice on so they aren't burdensome anymore.

But, it doesn't make you a bad person for having a relapse. Sometimes this happens, but it's not the end of the world. Try and use this as motivation to recover. Pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and keep going. You can get back up to the two year mark again, or even longer, with time, effort, and support. I have confidence in you!

-Dez


   
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